We don't need your resume. We don't care if you've been published in The New Yorker or if your entire creative output to date is erotic Waluigi fanfiction. We don't care if you're 60 or 16. We don't care if you don't know what a intransitive verb is, because I sure don't. All we care about are your ideas. That's what makes Cracked thrive. Somewhere in your head is an observation about pop culture or history or social media or whatever subject it is that fascinates you, and you're the only one who can make it. We want to hear it, and if we like it we want to pay you for it. Talent is helpful, but it's your perspective on the world that's invaluable. Come and show it to us.
There is only one catch: You have to try. If you approach any publication by saying "I wanna write about why Batman sucks, gimme money" or "I didn't bother to check if you guys publish poetry or not, but here are several volumes of mine just in case," you will not get far. You have to read the rules (which are firm) and deal with rejection (which sucks) and work hard (which is less fun than playing video games). But if you stick to it, you will get paid, and your work will be read by hundreds of thousand (if not millions) of people, and interesting opportunities may open themselves up to you.