Fans of Solo: A Star Wars story (or anyone who simply wants to experience the story in a medium where their imagination can seamlessly sub in Harrison Ford) will be excited to learn that a novelization will soon be released. As extra incentive for Star Wars obsessives, the book will contain "expanded" material -- that is, scenes or moments that didn't make the movie itself.
One insight the book reportedly offers is particularly noteworthy ... and disturbing. In an already upsetting turn of events, Lando's woke droid co-pilot (and ...*sigh* lover) L3-37 is horribly killed. But then Lando integrates L3's brain into the Millennium Falcon's system.
Which in some ways is kind of sweet. Plus, giving the Falcon a consciousness of sorts retcons in an explanation for C-3PO's awkward interaction with the ship's computer in The Empire Strikes Back.
On the other hand, it's a little like using a dead friend's brain to power the GPS on your Honda Civic. In any case, the novelization shades in some of the details of this scene, and they're pretty goddamn bleak. The book adds L3's post-death inner monologue, during which she actually converses with the Falcon computer, realizing that she's a "slave inside of a ship forever" -- the droid equivalent of being buried alive.
This is followed by an argument between the Falcon computer and L3, with the Falcon getting surprisingly harsh, telling her, "If you refuse, you die." So L3 reluctantly submits to becoming a disembodied servant, a sort of Twilight Zone-esque ironic ending for the character who fought for the liberation of droids.
And keep in mind that this all takes place before A New Hope, and the Falcon is still kicking around in the Sequel Trilogy. So this sentient being has endured over four decades of existential hell. Hopefully, Episode IX will find Rey, Poe, or hell, even Nien Nunb putting the poor thing out of her misery.
Support your favorite Cracked writers with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.
Also, we'd love to know more about you and your interesting lives, dear readers. If you spend your days doing cool stuff, drop us a line at iDoCoolStuff at Cracked dot com, and maybe we can share your story with the entire internet.
Come to the Dark Side and follow us on Facebook.
Let us pitch you a sitcom ...
Sometimes the follow-up is worse than original headline-grabbing story.
Some people in entertainment don't even bother trying to come up with fresh ideas.