During peak summer, it's easy to be envious of people living in cooler climes who don't have to walk around all day like their underwear is slowly melting. But they have other effects of climate change to worry about, like a huge iceberg breaking free from its glacier and barreling toward their village like it has a 100-year-old score to settle.
Last week, the people of Innaarsuit in the west of Greenland noticed a large iceberg suspiciously creeping closer and closer to their small village of about 200. Stray floating icebergs aren't that uncommon in the region (the world is melting and we're all going to die with sunburns), but the Innaarsuit iceberg isn't just some exaggerated ice cube, it's an ice behemoth. Clocking in at over 11 million tons, with 300 feet of 'berg peeking over the water, the icy monster is several times the size of the iceberg that struck the Titanic. Honestly, we've heard worse sequel pitches.
Fortunately, the iceberg didn't go all Speed 2 on the village, stranding just off its shore. Unfortunately, what happens next is hard to predict. Icebergs of such massive proportions don't just call it quits and melt into the ocean. They tend to "calve" (shed and shatter) instead, causing tsunamis that could flood parts of Innaarsuit. Scientists can't get too close to study the thing either, out of fear a piece will break off and hit their boat, so they have to rely on tiny flying robots to gather as much data as they can.
Until the threat subsides, dozens of Innaarsuit villagers (Innaarsuitians? Innaarsuiters?) have already evacuated low-lying homes, and some fear the iceberg might still flood the local power plant, leaving the entire village with no electricity. Hunting in darkness, eh? Clever iceberg.
For more weird tangents and his personal recipes for toilet wine, do follow Cedric on Twitter.
Support your favorite Cracked writers with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.
For more, check out How A Typo Screwed Up One Of History's Worst Video Games and Delete Your Account, Elon Musk.
Follow us on Facebook. It's free.