Want To Beat Facial Recognition Tech? Dress Like a Juggalo

As the power of the modern surveillance state waxes, it's important that we the people nail down our resistance tactics before the only option becomes "Move to the woods, drop off the grid, and establish the Empire of Bark." Well good news! You can stick to The Man without giving up modern conveniences like "walls." The bad news? Your taste in music is, uh, going to change.

Thanks to the work of one intrepid computer science blogger, we now know that the best way to beat facial recognition software (which most law enforcement agencies now use) is to wear Juggalo makeup -- the warpaint favored by the most hardcore fans of stalwart shock rappers Insane Clown Posse. The researcher in question, TAKHION, arrived at this conclusion by plugging normal-looking photos of ICP frontmen Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J (or as their mothers know them, Joseph and Joseph) into facial recognition software and watching as their clownish regalia caused them to disappear down the virtual rabbit hole

Continue Reading Below


You'd think that the system would flag identity-less people just as much, if not more, than average folks, but no. It seems that the best way to blend in after the ascendance of the all-seeing panopticon is looking like you're about to spray everybody with celebrated Midwestern soda Faygo.

Continue Reading Below


As TAKHION explained, most facial recognition software works by using contrast (for instance, between the neck and chin) to map out a person's face. The Juggalo look, however, so badly distorts the lines of the face that the system mistakes the black-white contrast of the makeup with the contrast of, say, a jawline. (No wonder the FBI has it out for Juggalos.)

Continue Reading Below


There's no word on whether KISS makeup works as well, but who wants to avoid the cyber gulag that badly?

Adam Wears is on Twitter and Facebook, and has a newsletter about depressing history that you should definitely subscribe to.

Support your favorite Cracked writers with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more, check out A Pervert Nearly Blew Off His Foot Taking Upskirt Photos and Feeling Drowsy? Scientists Think Heroin Might Be The Cure.

Follow us on Facebook, y'all.

To turn on reply notifications, click here


Load Comments

More Articles

5 'Ugh' Trump Stories The News Totally Forgot About

We're so inundated with Trump news that we shrug off scandals that would tank any other president.


4 Crapsack Things That Are Still Legal In The USA

The year is 2020.


6 Obnoxious Tourist Scams From Around The Globe

Every tourist destination has scammers looking to separate the unwary from their money.


The Craziest Movie Easter Egg That Nobody Noticed

We thing this might just be the craziest, most elaborate Easter egg in movie history.


6 Soulless Companies That Own, Like, Everything

Here are some companies we're just sorta letting take over the world.


5 Historical Landmarks (That Are Total Frauds)

Some of the most historical sites in the world are just trying to compete with Disneyland.