5

A British Man's Missing Parrot Is Returned Four Years Later ... Speaking Spanish

Darren Chick, a British man living in California, had a lovely little pet parrot named Nigel. That is an adorable start to a Pixar movie, and appropriately enough, here's the part where they rip your heart out: Nigel slipped out one day, flew away, and became lost. Somehow he wound up at a garage sale, where he was purchased by a pair of elderly Guatemalan-Americans. They named him Morgan, after the rum (it has a parrot on the label), and taught him some Spanish phrases. Nigel Morgan the rum-loving British expat parrot lived happily with his new family for four years, until he escaped again. This time he was found and taken to a vet, who initially mistook Morgan for her missing parrot.

Ronel Lowe/Adobe StockHow many rogue parrots are there in California?

4

A Fisherman Caught A Purse That Belonged To A Former Classmate Who'd Lost It ... 18 Years Earlier

In 1999, Massachusetts resident Kim Flanders put her handbag on the roof of her car, loaded up her kids, then drove away. Had this been a romantic comedy, the bag would've fallen through the roof of a passing convertible and she'd have been married to someone named Ryan within a month, but as it was, she just lost her bag. When she realized her error, she went back to the parking lot to look for it, but no luck.

3

A British Man Lost His Wallet In A French Bar, Got It Back 55 Years Later

Back in 1960, 18-year-old Bill Leech was studying French at Grenoble University when he lost his wallet at a ski resort pub. So he did what we all do when we lose a wallet: briefly hated himself, got all of his personal documents replaced, and considered but ultimately rejected the idea of a wallet chain, because no one wants to be a wallet chain person.

Family Business/Adobe StockNO.

2

Sanitation Workers Dug Through Seven Tons Of Trash To Help A Woman Find Her Wedding Ring

Tiffany Otterbeck wrapped her two diamond rings in a paper towel while she was cooking and then, goddamn it, she threw the towel out when she was cleaning up. By the time she realized what she'd done, the trash had already been picked up. So Otterbeck called the sanitation department, which seems like a long shot. But the supervisor for her neighborhood was a sanitation superhero.

Kadmy/Adobe Stock"When you think about it, 'Garbage Man' is basically a superhero name already."

1

A Man Accidentally Flushed Away His Class Ring, Only For It To Be Found And Returned 72 Years Later

In 1938, Jesse Taylor Mattos graduated high school in Dunsmuir, California, received a class ring for his troubles, then almost immediately lost the ring in the toilet of the butcher shop he worked in, because that's how life says, "Hello, welcome. Here's what to expect from the rest of me."

nd700/Adobe Stock"We both have shitty futures ahead of us."

In 2011, Tony Congi was doing maintenance on some local sewer lines when he spotted a flash of gold in a bucket of debris. He fished the ring out, cleaned it off, saw "Class of 1938" and "J.T.M." written on it, and put on his detective hat. He went to Dunsmuir High School and found that Mattos was the only 1938 graduate with those initials, then he contacted a neighbor who had also graduated in 1938, because apparently, no one leaves Dunsmuir alive. That classmate was a friend of Mattos' (of course!), and they gave Mattos' phone number to Congi, who showed up in person to return the ring. By that point, Mattos was 90 years old, and upon receiving the ring commented, "Doesn't sound like you've done too much maintenance in 72 years." Because 90 years old is a full decade past "crotchety."

Mark is on Twitter and has a book.

As an alternative, maybe consider a money clip?

Support your favorite Cracked writers with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more, check out 6 Insane Pet Journeys That Put Disney Movies To Shame and 5 People Who Vanished Mysteriously (And Appeared Awesomely).

Follow us on Facebook. And we'll follow you everywhere.