We told you, chill as.
The hawk was eventually retrieved by wildlife experts a couple days later, and was later set free in a wildlife habitat. So everybody got their happy ending!
Except for the entire rest of Houston.
A Raccoon Slips Into A Storm Drain, Eats Too Much, Gets Too Fat To Get Out
We'll go out on a limb here and venture that, on occasion, you have eaten too much. On occasion! But you've probably never gotten stuck in the door on your way out of Popeye's, have you? Humans build our doors fairly wide these days, and also many places now have double doors.
Raccoons do not have such a luxury. Much of their food is found where we keep our garbage, including garbage cans, garbage bins, garbage dumps, and the literal sewer. There are no "sweatpants day" doors in these places. Which is what brings us to this plump little fellow, who dropped into a sewer to feast on its contents, only to get so fat that he couldn't get out again.
City of Zion Illinois Police DepartmentHahahahah, he’s like the star of a children’s story written for hefty boys.
Of course, there is a happy ending to this story. The city's police and public works department were able to free the raccoon, presumably after employing a set of thick gloves and heavy mockery. The little guy was no worse for wear, and is reportedly considering a new diet.
City of Zion Illinois Police DepartmentMedical professionals have since reported serious concerns about the Winnie the Pooh plan.
An Australian Police Dog Is Fired for Being Too Friendly, Gets A Better Job Anyways
Being a police dog is only for certain kinds of pups. Square-jawed, authoritarian dogs. Dogs who each have a chip on their shoulder and something to prove.
And then there are dogs like Gavel, a German shepherd in Australia, who -- despite all the training -- was too nice to make the force. He was more interested in playing with strangers than asking them hard questions about their odors. Tragically, Gavel lost his job.
Governor of QueenslandThe face of unemployment.
Luckily, Gavel ended up getting a new job: Vice-Regal Dog of Queensland. Not only is that apparently a real position, Gavel is killing it. He is reportedly a very valuable member of Queensland's Government House, sits in on briefings with the governor, and even serves in several ceremonial roles.
Governor of QueenslandWhat is a ceremony in Queensland? Opening a beer while wearing a shirt?
All jokes aside, it's a good job, and he is a good dog. The best possible dog, in fact -- the dog who wasn't a narc.
Get a little Gavel in your life with a German Shepherd plushie!
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For more lovable animal stories, check out 7 Adorable Animals That Will Make Your Heart Sing and 7 True Stories Of Animals Rescuing People From Certain Death.
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