But before we each drop another Andrew Jackson into Amazon's pockets, let's remind ourselves that not only are the company's work conditions absolutely disgusting, but their workers have to sit in it. Just this month, a story broke that that warehouse workers in the UK would have to pee into bottles because they were afraid or simply unable to take actual bathroom breaks. A similar story appeared in 2016, when it was revealed that drivers were put under so much pressure to make as many deliveries as possible that they often go to the bathroom in their vans, with one even taking a s**t on the street because he was so desperate. In fact, conditions have gotten so bad that Amazon is now even on the list of the most unsafe places to work in the U.S. And if you think any of that extra Prime money is going toward improving worker conditions, Amazon would like to sell you something for your feet it likes to call "warehouse rain."
But the company really hopes you'll keep ignoring that and let them pour your money and their workers' dignity into flashy new projects like its bajillion-dollar serialization of The Lord Of The Rings, which we'll assume won't have an episode about how Sauron doesn't let the orcs unionize.
For more attempts at witticisms and his personal recipes for toilet wine, do follow Cedric on Twitter.
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