6
Never Let Go Of Your Grudges
Much of Trump's life can be defined by the grudges he's held. Nobody thinks about Rosie O'Donnell that much under normal circumstances. "When people treat me unfairly, I don't let them forget it," he told reporters during his presidential campaign in 2016. It doesn't seem to matter that he's often wealthier or more powerful than the people he's holding grudges against. That's not the point. The point is the revenge itself. "If people screw you, screw them back 10 times as hard," he explained in 2011.
Media organizations he doesn't like suddenly find themselves blacklisted from campaign rallies and press briefings. One failed business deal in Mexico, and later he's ranting about how most Mexicans are "rapists" who "bring in drug and crime." When he won the Republican presidential primary in 2016, he took almost no steps toward reconciliation with his former foes, instead dishing out insults left and right to people he no longer needed to attack. And when Puerto Rico was stricken by a hurricane this summer, Trump dedicated a lot more effort than "none at all, are you crazy?" to a running feud with the mayor of San Juan.
Joe Raedle/Getty Images“Hmm ... there’s a Puerto Rican I don’t get along with. Better screw over three million of them so she knows it.”
When NFL players began kneeling during the national anthem, Trump didn't just criticize the players like most conservative commentators; he focused a lot of his rage on the NFL itself, calling it weak and out of control. Which doesn't make a ton of sense ... until you realize that Trump has long held a grudge against the league for refusing to let him buy a team in the 1980s. And when he tried to buy the Bills in 2014, only to get outbid, he reacted the only way he knows how: with shockingly petty tweets about how boring the league was.
And then there's the massive grudge he holds toward his predecessor, Barack Obama. Trump spent quite a bit of Obama's first term cheerleading the birther movement because of, well ... let's say his passion for birth certificate formatting quirks. For some reason, he then attended the 2011 White House Correspondents' Association dinner. There, Obama lit into him. For a solid two and a half minutes, Trump could do nothing more than slowly rock back and forth, tight-lipped, while Obama dished out insult after insult. The guy's probably never had to sit through anything like that before, and the psychic impact it's made on him can't be underestimated. If you're ever in any doubt about the motivations behind Trump's actions as president, know that he'll always do the opposite of whatever Obama would, be that building a health plan, entering the Paris Accords, or reading.
5
Decorate Like A Dictator
Being wealthy is great. You should definitely be born into that if you can. But it's not enough on it's own. You have to let people know you're wealthy, so they know you're better than them, and to go fetch you food and pelts. You can do that by shouting at them all the time (and you should; never stop shouting), but when your voice gets tired, or they simply get too far away, you'll need something else. You'll need to let your surroundings do the talking for you.
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