5 Hilariously Badass Ways You Can Die In Style

5

Finally, Your Loved Ones Can Keep Your Memory Alive Inside Them

Sure, we leave behind wills and such to ensure our loved ones are taken care of financially after we pass away, but those won't keep our soulmates warm during those cold nights without us. And though there's nothing we can do to fill the hole we'll leave in their hearts. Fortunately, there are other holes.

Mark Sturkenboom"That looks a lot like WALL-E," you might be saying, before you learn where that's all going.

This is 21 Grams, a project by Mark Sturkenboom, an artist from the Netherlands. Sturkenboom was inspired to create a more intimate final resting place after seeing the drab urn his neighbor kept her deceased husband in. "She always speaks with so much love about [her husband] but the jar he was in didn't reflect that at all." By which he apparently meant that the urn clearly couldn't fit into her vagina.

The box contains a drawer to keep mementos in, a docking area for your phone to play some music, a scent diffuser containing the deceased's signature scent, and of course, a glass dildo with a gold-plated urn big enough to ensure nobody feels inadequate in the afterlife.

But slightly more wholesome necrophilia doesn't come cheaply, so to speak. Getting all up in those 21 grams will cost $8,700. That price tag also includes a beautiful gold-plated brass key that your significant other can wear around their neck for the times they feel the sudden urge to quickly get into your box.

4

Get High With Your Friends Forever

With all the grace and dignity of dipping a frozen banana into chocolate, glass blowers can stub their heated glass into the ashes of the dearly departed to make lovely little tchotchkes like this:

3

Send Your Remains On A Balloon Ride To Space

If you like the idea of sending your earthly remains right the hell away from Earth, but strapping your rotting corpse to a rocket seems too much like showing off, the folks at Eternal Ascent Society (not a cult) have a gentler alternative.

Joanie and Clyde West used to own a quaint little balloon shop in Florida, when one night their conversation took a turn for the macabre. Joanie asked her husband how he wanted to be buried. Clyde, ever the company man, replied: "I don't care. Just have me cremated, put me in a balloon and send me off." Somehow, they figured that non-balloon vendors would like this service too, and the pair embarked on a quest to make the funeral industry a little more whimsical.

Eternal Ascent"I want it to be like the funeral at the end of Wrath Of Khan, but I'm also on a budget."

Yes, for only a few thousands dollars, you too can strap the ashes of your loved ones to their patented balloon rigs. The balloon is then released at the venue of your choice, where it will ascend until the temperatures dip to -40 degrees Fahrenheit, at which point the balloon breaks, and nobody really thought the rest out. They're Almost Space's problem now.

Eternal Ascent"It's what Chuckles would've wanted."

2

Asia's VIP Columbariums Are Cemeteries For Rock Stars

Nestled in trendy downtown Tokyo is the Ruriden columbarium (like a cemetery, but for crematory urns). But Ruriden looks less like a somber cemetery and more like the inside of some awesome rave you were never invited to in life. Upon entry, mourners are greeted by 2,045 LED-lit techno-Buddha statuettes. These little fellas are actually markers for the storage spaces where the ashes are kept, but each one can switch to a different color with a swipe of a visitor's card.

Or you can visit the swanky Nirvana Memorial Garden Columbarium. Located in Singapore's largest cemetery, this "six star premium" (it's one higher!) facility looks like a scene out of Flash Gordon.

1

Fight Your Way Through The Underworld From Inside A Flaming Bull

Unless you went out holding two live hand grenades while charging a polar bear, your death probably wasn't spectacular. But that doesn't mean your funeral won't be! If that's what you want, make sure your last trip is to either Indonesia or Bali, whose funerals are so cool that even David Bowie wanted to be cremated there.