Fans of Breaking Bad, the show that ended four years ago, won't stop lobbing pizzas onto the roof of an innocent family's home. Perhaps they've just awoken from comas, watched the entirety of Breaking Bad, and thought this was still relevant or funny. Regardless, the important thing is that there is a contractor out there willing to build you an anti-pizza fence.
The owners of the home likely called a construction company, explaining haltingly, "We, uh, we have... we have a problem, we need... we need a fence to keep the roof, uh..." At this point, the grizzled contractor cuts them off- "People throwing pizzas on your roof? Yep, I get cases like yours every day. What you want is a 6-foot iron fence all around the perimeter. We specialize in an anti-grease, anti-cheese sealer to keep your fence from getting weathered by pizzas. We can even throw in a couple of fake owls to scare away fanboys.
Then, the construction company gets to work. They start off by spraying for any fans still in the area, and use chisels to remove the hardened pizza residue before installing the fence. There are other anti-pizza methods offered, such as Roofweilers: trained dogs perched on your roof who are able to catch pizzas mid-flight, before leaping down and targeting the throats of trespassers. Sprinklers that spew pepper spray into the air, and a captive bear that becomes enraged at the smell of pizza are other alternatives. But honestly, a fence is probably the most economical option.
These hilarious stories should have been taught in every school.
Here are a few historically important sites to which time has been more than unkind.