There's a hidden epidemic sweeping the nation's youths. Or at least one youth, in 1977, in the nation of the UK. Traffic-cone-huffing, or as the kids call it, "pylon-puffin," "coning," or "getting coned," is the dangerous trend of inserting small traffic cones into your nasal passageway or throat, and then inhaling as hard as possible. Users, or "coners," report feeling "mildly dizzy," a feeling that will get harder and harder to attain as they continue to chase the cone-high.
As well as the danger of immediate asphyxiation, there are long term effects that can last until adulthood. While there's no evidence that coning causes cancer, it does at least cause doctors to think you have cancer, before extracting a 40-year-old snot-covered miniature traffic cone from your lungs. Coners whose addiction continues are in danger of chasing ever more perilous highs, such as snorting traffic-cones in construction sites on the highway. While none have been confirmed to have died this way, theoretically it's possible that thousands have.
What can you do as a parent? Talk to your kids about the dangers of coning. Sure, they may look "cool" in front of their friends by jamming a toy traffic-cone up their nose (the media can be blamed for glorifying coning in movies and TV). But real friends don't let friends get coned. It's also important as a parent to teach your children how to use traffic cones responsibly, such as to alert cars of construction, or to keep people in grocery stores from walking into spilled pickle juice and glass. Let your child know that if he or she is confused about when it's appropriate to use a traffic cone, to talk to a responsible adult. And for God's sake, if you keep traffic cones in your house, keep them safely locked up. 9 out of 10 traffic-cone accidents occur when a child gains access to an improperly stored traffic-cone, probably.