Don't Deep-Freeze Any Severed Appendages To "Keep Them Fresh"
Kitchen knives slip, passing comets bring lawn mowers to murderous life, hands turn evil and must be chainsawed off. You know, s**t happens. And we all know that the proper course of action in such a circumstance is to stop the bleeding, clean the wound, and toss the recently separated body part on a bed of ice like shrimp at an all-you-can-eat seafood buffet.
But that's not always the best solution: When Seattleite Jim Beaty table-sawed the tip clean off his finger while doing home renovations in 2010, he and his wife tossed it in a Tupperware container and covered it with ice. When they arrived at the emergency room, they discovered how bad an idea that was. Especially in cases involving small body parts, such as fingers and toes, direct contact with ice rapidly causes freezer burn and damages tissue beyond repair. Instead, they should have wrapped the finger in a clean, damp cloth and kept it cold, not frozen. Basically, treat your severed body parts less like Hot Pockets and more like a fine steak, and you might get to keep that hand.
Don't Do Pretty Much Anything You Think You Should Do For A Snakebite
According to classic Western movie wisdom, the steps to treat a bite from a venomous snake are 1) tie a tourniquet above the bite to prevent the poison from making its way into the rest of your body, 2) hack into the bite, probably using the same knife you employed to kill that bastard snake, and 3) suck out the poison. If you can't manage to reach the site of the wound with your own mouth, a companion's mouth will do. This is what old-timey cowboys referred to as "bonding."