Worldwide boners are going to take a serious hit if it turns out that this is why Viagra is blue.
The gel-like substance that surrounds the slightest bacterial infection in horseshoe crabs was co-discovered by the tremendously named scientist Fred Bang. The chemical that causes it to occur, called coagulogen, allows us to very accurately test medications for contamination, can detect anomalies as small as one part per trillion, and is used on just about every single drug that comes out. And the way to get it is to capture a shitload of crabs, jab a needle in their assholes, and subject them to a process called "rack & bleed."
One of the few jobs where coming to work drunk every day would be completely understandable.
If you're wondering how one could possibly work in such a facility without experiencing a daily existential horror-crisis, that fact that one quart of this "blue gold" is worth $15,000 might go a long way in explaining it. And although the crabs' ordeal looks like a nightmarish combination of medieval and futuristic crustacean torture, you'll be pleased to know that the vast majority survive and are released back into the wild, where they are free to gather in massive groups to nurse their terrible grudge.
We're just saying, don't be shocked if there's a crustacean uprising.