6 Real Innocent People Famous Movies Made Look Horrible

The only problem? Despite the fact that the two share so much in common, the Coens made their character a self-centered douchenozzle whose talent for folk music is surpassed by his knack for mooching and womanizing. While the late Van Ronk was a friendly figure who encouraged and influenced young up-and-comers like Bob Dylan and went on to have a long career, his thinly disguised film version is a pathetic sad sack who clearly went nowhere.

CBS Films Also, The Force Awakens was but one man's depressed hallucinations, and BB-8 was a cat.

This was a problem for at least some of Van Ronk's friends, who were unhappy to see the iconography of his life's work attributed to some fictional jackass. One folk singer remarked that they were "outraged that the Coens took such a colorful character and interpreted him as a doofus." How would the Coen Brothers like it if someone made a movie where their friends are sad losers being chased by Nihilists and almost castrated? Wait, never mind, the Coens did that movie themselves.

We all remember Titanic, James Cameron's epic story of love that tested the resolve of movie-going bladders everywhere, and gave us the Celine Dion song that tested the resolve of society's will to live.

The Real-Life Inspiration:

Leaving aside the movie's fictional leads, Titanic is chock full of real-life figures, from socialite Molly Brown, to Captain Edward Smith, to even some of the peripheral characters. Take the guy in the chef's uniform swilling booze from a flask -- you may not remember him because his presence is somewhat usurped by the film's true star, "Propeller Guy."

Paramount Pictures

Paramount Pictures

Paramount PicturesFuck Avatar, James Cameron. Give us four sequels about that guy.

The moment plays almost as comedic, as if this poor schlub might as well fill his belly with Jim Beam as long as people are pinballing off of propellers. Well, it turns out that the inspiration for the character, Charles Joughin, was far more than a mere county fair caricature of Nick Nolte -- he was a goddamn hero.

National Archives"My name may be tarnished, but at least I wasn't wearing eight pounds of makeup like Billy Zane."

It's true that Joughin, the ship's baker, was drinking that night, but he actually started before the ship hit the iceberg, while he was off-duty and had every right to get shitfaced. Once disaster struck, he organized the distribution of bread to the lifeboats and even refused his own spot on a boat in favor of women and children. If all that wasn't enough, he then started hurling deck chairs into the water -- not in a drunken Axl Rose-esque display, but as a way to provide people with flotation devices. Amazingly, the baker survived by clinging to an overturned boat, which some have attributed to his getting hammered beforehand. While that doesn't really make sense, others have theorized that the hooch may have kept him calm where others panicked.

That's right, not content with turning a brave crew member into a murderous asshole, Cameron had the gall to make a mockery out of the Titanic's biggest hero: alcohol.

The Real-Life Inspiration:

The movie was based on a book, which itself was based on a true story -- and it may have massaged some of the finer details. Even the heroes, that rag-tag group of fishermen, weren't accurately represented. In the movie, they decide to endure the storm because they're in financial danger of losing the boat and need the money their catch will bring in. They could have just gone home and not gotten caught up in any storm, perfect or otherwise, but Captain Tyne (Clooney) goads his crew like a schoolyard bully.

Warner Bros. Pictures

Warner Bros. PicturesWe're 90 percent sure that this guy didn't actually break into a rap version of "The Girl Is Mine."

The thing is, the ship was lost at sea -- so no one knows what the hell happened. Specifically, there's no evidence that Captain Tyne turned into a total dickhead and got all his friends killed. In fact, Tyne wasn't in any financial trouble, so there's really no reason why he would act like that. Tyne's family (unsuccessfully) sued the filmmakers for depicting the Captain as "unprofessional" and "incompetent" -- but, to be fair, also handsome. Even they have to admit he was pretty handsome.

Arguably even worse was the case of crew member David "Sully" Sullivan, who had the misfortune of being portrayed by typecast shady bad guy William Fichtner.

Warner Bros. Pictures

findagrave.comThey're like Bizarro universe versions of each other.

In the movie, Sully is an angry shithead who clashes with other crewmembers and brings unnecessary conflict into an already bad situation, but in real life, he was "a funny guy with a loud laugh and a big smile." He was also an actual hero who saved the lives of his crew in another ship by jumping into icy water to untie some ropes. Where's the movie about that?

And finally, there's the B-story about the yacht that gets caught up in the storm, which mainly seems to exist to contrast the scruffy heroism of the fishing boat with some entitled yuppie douchebags who think boating equals eating gourmet food on a trip to Bermuda.

Warner Bros. Pictures

Warner Bros. Pictures

Warner Bros. Pictures You can tell we're supposed to hate him because he wears a slightly askew hat, like only true pieces of shit would.

The yacht's captain brags about not plotting a course and, naturally, ends up smack dab in the middle of the storm and has to get his inept ass rescued by the coast guard. However, he was based on an experienced seaman who actually did everything right and didn't appreciate seeing himself turned into a live action New Yorker cartoon gag.

Oh, and he also murders the protagonist's young son in cold blood, so child-killing was sort of his signature move, apparently.

However, Col. Tavington was inspired by a real soldier with the soundalike name Tarleton, who is considered a hero in his hometown, Liverpool. While he was no boy scout (he was nicknamed the "butcher"), there's no indication that he ever burned down a church or killed a single defenseless child. Not surprisingly, people in England weren't super-thrilled about the flick that made them out to be bloodthirsty demon-people on a one-sided terror campaign against the innocent yet heroic folk of America. Also deviating from the real guy's biography, instead of being bayoneted to death in the name of America ...

Columbia Pictures

Columbia Pictures

Columbia Pictures Or Australia, we guess.

... he survived the war, went back to England, and became a Member of Parliament. Luckily, he didn't live long enough to befriend H.G. Wells, go for a spin in his time machine, and get enraged at The Patriot.

Also, when we first meet Sinclair, he's filming a movie that looks almost copyright-infringement-close to Flynn's most famous film, The Adventures of Robin Hood.

Walt Disney Pictures

Warner Bros. PicturesHe plays Peter Pan in it.

In the movie's big twist, it turns out that Sinclair is secretly working for the Nazis -- which isn't totally out of left field. There actually was a rumor that Flynn was a Nazi, stemming from a biography that made that claim:

bidorbuy.co.zaThough how pissed off would you be if they didn't make that claim, based on that cover?

The book goes as far as to imply that Flynn was partly responsible for Pearl Harbor, after sending Japan footage of the base. So, The Rocketeer's screenwriters drew their story from this biography -- the only problem being that the whole thing is almost definitely bullshit.

The infamous biography has been "denounced by Flynn's former wife, colleagues and other biographers," and there's no credible evidence supporting its claims. Even worse, new evidence has come out suggesting that Flynn did offer to become a spy, but for the allies. Either way, it's probably hard for '90s kids not to envision him as the Nazi dickhead who died jetpack-crashing into the Hollywood sign.

The Real-Life Inspiration:

A lot of Mad Men's authenticity stemmed from the fact that it mostly used real companies in its fictitious agencies -- Peggy Olson never had to land the Bloca-Bola account or anything. When Sterling-Cooper-Draper-Pryce was absorbed into another ad agency in the final season, they even used a real agency, McCann-Erickson. The still-thriving company was so excited about the development, this is what their lobby looked like the next day:

McCann-EricksonThey also replaced all the tap water with booze and pumped cigarette smoke through the air vents.

They were less thrilled when they saw the next week's episode, though.

Lionsgate Television

Lionsgate Television

Lionsgate Television

20th Lionsgate Television

To be fair, that likely was the way women were treated at an agency like that in the '60s. Still, they sure sandbagged today's company, who were so excited about their inclusion in the popular show, they were live-tweeting the episode, not knowing things were about to take an unfortunate turn.

TwitterThey can always hire an ad agency to ... oh.

Even worse was the show's portrayal of SCDP's client Jaguar, who also weren't consulted about their inclusion in the show. When character Lane Pryce tries to kill himself using car exhaust, he chooses a Jaguar as his instrument of suicide (and even worse, the damn thing won't start).

Lionsgate TelevisionThis is given as the origin for Jaguar's '60s catchphrase, "It Fucking Sucks, As Does Life In General."

Even more horrifyingly, Jaguar only agrees to give our heroes their business if Joan had sex with their Vice President of Disgusting Pervy Creepiness -- leading the real-life Jaguar company to feel that the show had "tainted" their brand.

Lionsgate Television"We assure you, none of our executives have ever had sex."

And it's not just companies -- individuals also had their histories re-written. The last episode of the show implies that Don's newfound sense of hippie beatnik-ism gave him the inspiration to come up with the famous "I'd like to buy the world a Coke" ad. Believe it or not, that highly influential ad was created by an actual person (at McCann-Erickson), who now has to contend with a fictional character stealing his thunder. The real-life Don Draper, legendary ad man Bill Backer, didn't seem to really care, though, since he didn't like the show anyway -- probably because it portrayed his life's work as consisting mainly of getting hammered and wrestling with existential ennui.

JM co-hosts the podcast Rewatchability which can also be found on iTunes.

Also check out 5 Real People Who Got Screwed By Famous Movies Based On Them and 5 Iconic Roles That Made Actors' Lives A Living Hell.

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