Believe it or not, Johnny Depp isn't a pirate, Robert Downey Jr. doesn't own a mechanical super-suit, and Tom Cruise isn't really a maniac who hangs from planes and ... OK, that last one is a bad example. But our point is that just because an actor pretends to be someone in a movie doesn't mean that they are that person. You'd think this would be common knowledge, and yet some famous thespians (and even a bunch of C-list celebrities) keep getting harassed in insane ways. For example ...
5 Everyone Tries To Pick Fights With Ghostbusters' Bad Guy
In Ghostbusters, actor William Atherton played the villainous bureaucrat Walter Peck. Atherton is so good at playing a smug, ignorant, loud jerk that you forget that he's completely right and Bill Murray is the real asshole in this movie. Speaking of which, Atherton's most memorable movie moment is probably the scene where Murray says, "Yes, it's true. This man has no dick." Classic! It never gets old!
Unless, of course, your name is William Atherton.
Or if you're an actual eunuch, we guess.
It turns out that it is possible to be too good of an actor. For years after the release of Ghostbusters, fans of the movie would see Atherton in bars and try to pick fights with him, presumably under the impression that he really does work for the EPA and really did try to hinder the efforts of a pack of wisecracking ghost hunters in 1984. Not even shaving his beard could prevent people from HOLY SHIT WE JUST REALIZED HE'S THE JERK FROM DIE HARD TOO.
20th Century Fox
FUCK THAT GUY.
Ahem. Anyway, the film's director, Ivan Reitman, mentioned on the DVD commentary that he ran into Atherton sometime after the film's release, and instead of greeting him as one might normally greet the man who made you internationally famous, Atherton was completely pissed off. Not only were people trying to fight him, but he also had random assholes shouting at him in public. In one incident that was absolutely horrible and totally not the greatest thing we've ever heard, a bus full of kids spotted him on the street and yelled "DICKLESS!" at him from the windows. The joke's on them, though; if any celebrity on Earth is likely to become a ghost and haunt the shit out of people who were assholes to them, it'd be this guy.
No word on how the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man is taking his fame, but given that we haven't seen him in any more movies, we're guessing it's not well.
"Oh, he's got a gig in the adult film industry."
4 Biff Tannen Has To Carry Prepared Response Letters For Fans
If you're ever in the presence of one of the stars from your favorite films, it's natural that you should want to ask them some questions, ranging from common sense stuff ("Did you have clothes on under the Iron Man suit?") to the philosophical ("Would you wear clothes under an Iron Man suit if you had one?"). It doesn't matter how original you think your question is, though; chances are they've heard it a hundred times before, and are tired as shit of answering it.
However, no one has it worse than actor Tom Wilson, perhaps due to a combination of being known only for one movie, that movie being one of the most famous ever, and aging almost exactly like some makeup artist in 1985 predicted he'd age.
Wilson played Biff and other assorted Tannens in the Back To The Future trilogy, a universally-beloved series that some freaking nerds just can't seem to stop talking about. In fact, he gets asked the same handful of questions so often that he went ahead and had all the answers printed on some postcards, which he now carries everywhere. Whenever someone approaches and Wilson senses that they're gonna start asking Back To The Future questions (perhaps there's a certain smell that sets them apart), he just hands them one of these:
"Can you at least call me a butthead or punch my Grandma?"
At this point, we're guessing this is less about saving time and more about straight-up self-preservation. If he didn't give these to people, he wouldn't have time for eating or sleeping, and would drop dead within a few days. Wilson seems fairly good-natured about it, though; he's taken several of the above questions and turned them into a comedy song, which he plays at some of his stand-up shows.
The takeaway message here seems to be "Thanks for being a fan. I appreciate it. But for the love of God, please shut the hell up."