A water boatman's dong-drumming session peaks at a stunning 105 decibels. When scientists first registered this epic wang-chun, they ran more tests just to make sure Randy the intern didn't get high and mess with all of their equipment. But, no, it turns out that boatmen just live life loud -- so much so that a casual passerby can hear their cock concerto, even if the bug is sitting at the bottom of a huge body of water.
"Anyway, here's Bonerwall."
That water is actually why people don't go deaf from the boatman's literal boner jams: the H20 absorbs 99 percent of the pre-jackhammering jackhammering.