If we've said it once, we've said it a million times: Mother Nature is the enemy, and she wants nothing more than to destroy us, turn our great works to dust, and enslave our children to work her hideous tree mines. It may be obvious from the preceding statements that we don't actually know much about nature, but we know one thing: She's out to screw us. Otherwise, explain ...
Crazy Ants (Their Real Name) Will Take Out Our Advanced Technology
Dietrich Gotzek et al. / Wiki Commons
Tawny crazy ants multiply faster than rabbits on an abacus, which would be fine if they didn't absolutely despise all the technological feats of man. Some experts suspect they're attracted to electricity itself, like a bunch of unlucky fetishists, while others believe the myriad nooks and crannies offer a good hiding spot for an ant species that isn't capable of building burrows of its own. Either way, the result is the same. Whether it's power outlets, NASA computers, chemical plant machinery, or even your precious Xbox, crazy ants are here to do two things: fuck up your gadgets, and chew bubblegum.
Joe MacGown / Mississippt State University
And brother? They don't have any bubblegum. They're ants.
Of course the electricity kills them -- they're not immune to lightning (yet). But that doesn't matter. Once the first wave arrives and gets zapped, their charred corpses emit a pheromone that attracts more crazy ants. The reinforcements use their deceased brethren as a biological bridge right into the guts of your sweet new Ultra HD TV, piling in until the device flash-fries itself in act of totally understandable suicide.
Tom Rasberry / 281 Deadbug
Do you want mass ant graves? Because that's how you get mass ant graves.
This is not a freak occurrence. In city environments, crazy ants can decimate every electronic device in an entire neighborhood. We've been sitting here fearing targeted EMP weapons, and all the while, biology has been toiling away on the far worse organic alternative.