At first glance, it appears that Robin may have taken Batman's order to construct a Bat Magnet way too literally. However, seeing as how Superman is cheering Robin on, it seems this modified magnetic crane is having precisely the desired effect. That seems like a lot of wasted effort; if Superman had wanted to make a spreadable jam out of everything below Batman's nipples, he could've just used his super-strength for that. Maybe a touch of heat vision.
Judging by Batman's face, he seems to be a bit of a sour apple about the fact that Robin has condensed him into a Bat-Pog. Perhaps Robin stole the covers one too many times last night.
Teenage Mutant Hitler Punchers
"And for making me feel guilty about my red arm bands!"
Captain America's origin being firmly rooted in World War II, it makes perfect sense when he's depicted punching the fascist shit out of Hitler. There is, however, no universe -- comic or otherwise -- in which it makes the least bit of sense for a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle to do so.
Wait, on closer inspection, we see that Raphael's baseball cap is embroidered "TURTLE LAND." Maybe, in the Turtleverse, that's a tiny nation that borders smack up against Germany and Poland, whose citizens were far too green (and scaly, and shelled) to meet the Aryan ideal, and thus endured countless atrocities at the hands of the Nazis. Of course, we're probably just overanalyzing this. On second thought, everyone -- fictional or non, human or reptilian, ninja or not-ninja -- should get a turn to CHOK the fascist shit out of Hitler.
Somebody Call Superman; Batman's Murderin' Babies Again
Never hire a mohel from Craigslist.
It seems Batman ain't got time for kids who aren't old enough to share his bed without shitting themselves at 2 p.m., so it's knife time for little Timmy. Also, Batman has apparently never seen a butcher knife -- that's obviously a paring knife, more suited to transforming a radish into a delicate flower than committing infanticide. On the other hand, the knife does appear to have been imbued with the Power Cosmic, as it's gleaming like a goddamned lighthouse beacon. That's sure to help Batman see what he's doing as he, to use the words of the last panel, "slits the little cherub's throat."
Scott Elizabeth Baird can be found on Twitter @ScottEBaird.
For more insane moments from comic books, check out 6 Psychotic Punishments Doled Out By Famous Superheroes and The 6 Most Sadistic Superhero Revenge Schemes Of All Time.
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