In fact, the only animals protected by electric fences in Jurassic World are the non-violent herbivores. Even then, people in the command center still can't tell if a fence door is open or where the visitors' vehicles are (another feature Hammond has back in AOL days):

Universal Pictures

Universal Pictures
Hopefully that PC is preserved in amber somewhere and can be restored.

The Jurassic World big wigs do have one semi-innovative idea: microchipping the dinosaurs so they can track them ... and yet they manage to even fuck that up, because as soon as the indominus escapes her pen, she claws out the tracker. Unlike your local veterinarian, the geniuses at Jurassic World forgot to implant the animal's microchip in a place she can't actually reach.

Universal Pictures

Radio-Canada
And now you're imagining a T. rex trying to reach its back with its comically tiny hands.

Also, if the park is trying to save costs, why not relocate to a place like Florida instead of making everyone schlep out to an island in the middle of the Pacific? Plus, if the dinosaurs do escape there, that will only be the fourth-craziest thing to happen in Florida that week.

And finally, let's not forget that Leia is only captured because she's headed to pick up Obi-Wan, which she wants to do in person and then later by hologram, instead of just sending a message from a burner Gmail account.

Lucasfilm
Her LeiaOrgasmaXXX69@empire.gov account is only for official communications.

Also, why in the name of James Cameron's ballsack are there searchlights all over the base?

Paramount Pictures
They were throwing a big rave, but no one showed up.

There's absolutely no point for those lights to be there. Humans have some of the worst night vision in the animal kingdom, so we need bright lights to help us not die -- but machines don't, as evidenced in T2 when Arnie rides a motorcycle at night, wearing sunglasses, with the headlight off.

TriStar Pictures
"It's all dark ...? Shit, I'm 30 years early to the rave."

On a related subject, look at this Skynet control center from Terminator Salvation:

Warner Bros.

Who are all these buttons and screens for? Terminators shouldn't need a button; Skynet should just be able to think "kill(humans.all) = 1" and it's done. There's no need to have someone actually press a button. If someone had created a computer brain implant that could transcribe your thoughts to text, why would you need a keyboard? Why do you need computer monitors at all when you're the computer?

It almost feels like your heart isn't really in this anymore, Skynet.

But, hey, question: Why does this have to be done by the captain of the ship? When Kirk and Simon Pegg, er, Scotty find out the reactor isn't working and run down to the engine room, they pass Chekov (who is, at that point, chief engineer) and dozens of toadies:

Paramount Pictures
"I'm wearing a red shirt. No way I'm going anywhere near a reactor."

So, couldn't they have just radioed those guys and said, "Uh, hey, anyone wanna fix that?" Apparently, Scotty is the only one who knows to pull a single lever to divert the power and figure out what's wrong with the reactor -- no one else in the ship can do that?

Paramount Pictures

Paramount Pictures
"Dammit, Jim! I'm a doctor, not some sort of lever-pulling specialist!"

We get that Scotty is supposed to be the super-geek techno-wizard, but that's kind of the point -- this shouldn't be a hack that only one person knows about. Day 1 of Starfleet Academy should teach all cadets that this is the "Pull To Not Die" switch.

But whoever ended up fixing the reactor would have died anyway, right? Because it's not like there's something that can be used to protect humans from radia-

Brian Lazenby/Times Free Press

-tion, right? These are anti-contamination suits used by nuclear power plants to limit radiation exposure when working near the reactor. You know where they're kept? Right by the goddamn reactor. And, sure, Kirk would have needed something more potent than that, but if the Enterprise crew has suits that allow them to survive in space:

Paramount Pictures
Is that the sound guy under the ship?

And if they can create a suit that lets people stand in the middle of an active volcano:

Paramount Pictures
Starfleet: 1. Jedi: 0.

Then there's no reason they wouldn't have one to block radiation, particularly for the engineers who work around the extremely dangerous reactor all day. (Those guys are super sterile, by the way.)

This would come in handy later when Nathan decides to shut Ava down by beating her with a steel bar, only to have this happen:

A24
"Windows was not shut down properly."

For some fucking reason, Nathan equipped Ava with hydraulics that enable her to outrun and overpower him -- maybe he likes being dominated? Who knows; we're not here to judge him (at least not for that). The point is, Ava and Kyoko (Nathan's bangbot maid, played by Sonoya Mizuno) stab him to death. A reset button would have really come in handy then. On the other hand, maybe this is exactly why Apple chargers suck: It's a fail-safe so they don't murder you.

So, why the hell isn't this all fully automated? GERTY can move around the base, communicate with Earth, and repair things, all without Sam's input. GERTY can load the helium into the rockets -- at one point, it tries to help Sam, only for Sam to insist that he should do it himself because he's got to justify his paycheck somehow.

Sony Pictures Classics
"There are ... other ways you could make it up to me, Sam." -DIRTY, from the porn parody.

The rovers could easily be automated since they've already done that with the harvesters -- the only step that Sam actually needs to do is to move the helium from the harvesters to the rover. Slap some robot arms on the rover and you've got a completely autonomous moon base with no need for food, water, oxygen, or breathtakingly expensive and unethical human cloning. Plus, a kickass-looking rover. Maybe Sam has good people skills?

It's true that by The Avengers Tony has stopped manufacturing munitions, but what about the other hundred or so defense contractors the U.S. uses to score weapons? Are we relying on only The Avengers for defense now? Ignoring the strategic problem of what happens if Loki decides to attack eight different places at the same time, we also get to see what the escalation of force looks like. When it seems that The Avengers aren't going to be able to stop the invasion on their own, the Pentagon jumps straight to the (literal) nuclear option:

Marvel Studios
On the upside, the fallout will probably take out New Jersey too.

Holy shit, is there nothing between "flying man, arrows" and "nuclear missiles"? Sure, those leviathan creatures are big and scary, but you know what else is big and scary? A Spectre gunship:

U.S. Air Force
Basically, someone looked at an artillery battery and said, "OK, but what if it could fly?"

Or how about an A-10 Warthog, where the airplane was an afterthought to a gigantic cannon, which is very appropriately called "The Avenger":

Chris Hondros/Getty Images News/Getty Images
For some reason we feel like we're falling behind on Mario Kart.

This is all technology that is decades old; we're not even talking about laser-guided bombs or sophisticated air-to-air missiles here. And it's not like S.H.I.E.L.D. is picking up the slack. Their two contributions are a slightly more powerful assault rifle:

Marvel Studios
If he'd known The Avengers would stop talking to him after this movie,
he probably would have picked a smaller one.

And one helicarrier, which isn't all that bad, but then again we already have 13 normal aircraft carriers that can go to 75 percent of the same places the helicarrier can, so, maybe S.H.I.E.L.D.'s R&D department should aim more toward the middle.

For more fictional head scratchers, check out 6 Baffling Flaws in Famous Sci-Fi Technology and The 5 Most Baffling Explosions In Movie History.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out Why 'Back to the Future' Is Secretly Horrifying, and other videos you won't see on the site!

Also, follow us on Facebook, and let's be best friends forever.