Don't think that is an out-of-context shot of a panning camera. He does this for 17 seconds. We counted. It would literally be more fun to watch paint dry, because we're actually watching fully dry paint here.
Eventually he sits on a bench, lies down, and ...
"Did ... did I win?"
... realizes he just wasted dozens of hours of his life playing The Witness.
Take Too Long To Finish Shenmue And The Bad Guy Gets Bored And Kills You
Shenmue, the beloved Sega Dreamcast game, had some crazy ideas about fun: A third of the game is spent working forklifts, and the last two hours are a hiking sim. While the plot supposedly centers on tracking down your father's killer, you can also waste countless hours playing anachronistic Sega Genesis games, rummaging through other people's sock drawers, or marveling at the exquisitely researched, historically accurate '80s Japan weather.
So it's a bit ironic that, if you spend too long exploring the elaborate world the developers went through extreme lengths to create, the bad guy shows up at your house and dick-punches you to death.
This would be like if halfway through Fallout another nuke fell and destroyed everything again.
The game begins in December 1986, and from then on it advances at a pace of one day per hour. The story isn't that long, so you'll probably finish the game around mid-January -- just in time to watch the Patrick Dempsey classic Meatballs III: Summer Job. However, the game is secretly on a time limit that ends on April 15, 1987. If you get distracted (or, more likely, repeatedly fail the mandatory, out of nowhere, poorly explained stealth sections), your father's killer, Lan Di, tracks you down and kills you. There's no warning beyond a vague dream where another character tells you, "When the cherry blossoms fall, the dragon shall descend on you."
The same thing happens in Shenmue II, which moves the "action" to Hong Kong. Waste too much time on arcade games or duck racing and Lan Di this time materializes behind you in an empty void and kills you. Then he kills your literal dream woman and steals her power, because the game goes full anime.
"Um, how long were you watching, because I was just in the middle of a dream about a woman ..."
Seriously, Lan Di, five months? You couldn't wait five months? Everyone who played Shenmue II has been sitting here for 15 years now, waiting for Ryo to get out of that bloody cave.
For more weird things that happen in video games, check out 7 Creepy Video Game Easter Eggs We Wish We Never Found and 6 Video Game Endings That Are Clearly F#@%ing With Us.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out 7 Video Game Puzzles That Made No !@$&ing Sense, and other videos you won't see on the site!
Also, follow us on Facebook, and let's get a quick duck race in.