The Japanese Mafia Aids Earthquake Victims
There's nothing funny about a 7.5 magnitude earthquake that kills over 6,000 people, injures 30,000 and leaves 300,000 homeless, unless it somehow makes a huge farting sound or something when it happens. Which it doesn't, so we're not sure why we even brought that up.
Anyway, such a disaster is exactly what befell Kobe, Japan in 1995. With billions of dollars worth of buildings strewn willy-nilly through the streets, the only way in and out of the city was by helicopter or foot. Unfortunately, it was in the immediate aftermath of this disaster that the national and local governments started a game of freeze tag, but one in which both parties stayed frozen and no one was "it." Thousands of stranded victims found themselves on their own.
Enter the Yakuza, the Japanese mafia, which mobilized itself and got on the ground faster than a greased-up Dan Akroyd sliding down the pole at the Ghostbusters fire station. While government officials were still untangling themselves from a behemoth game of bureaucratic Twister, the Yakuza got thousands of its members into Kobe to distribute food, water, medicine and baby diapers.
"Thanks, Japanese Mafia!"
That's right; the mob got together and passed out baby diapers. And then, as if to prove that there's no crisis that can't be badassed to death, these gangstas straight descended into Kobe from their Yakuza helicopter to give thousands of blankets to the homeless.
"Once we're finished posing, it's off to the soup kitchen to stab hunger in the windpipe."