So he gathered up some dismembered arms and started figuring out how to make them deliver haymakers. You know, as one does.
David Carrier/University of Utah
Dead men tell no tales, but they sometimes knock your ass out cold.
Researchers attached the arms to a pendulum and tied fishing line to the tendons of the forearm muscles, allowing them to be controlled by guitar tuners like marionettes straight out of a Hellraiser puppet show.
Which line do we pull to flip our sanity the bird?
Carrier and Co. then forced the severed arms to slug a force-measuring dumbbell using three hand positions: a clenched fist, a loose fist, and an open-palm slap. Results confirmed that the clenched fist -- a configuration unique to our human dickbeaters -- is not only capable of dealing out more forceful blows but also causes less damage to the bones of the punching hand. And then every boxer who's ever lived breathed out a collective, "No shit. You needed to collect and automate corpse arms to figure that out?"