Everything About Student Loans Sucks
Let's be real: Most of you have more student loans than you would like. The national student loan debt is at a staggering $1.2 trillion, with most students paying an average of $279 a month, or roughly 4.65 Fallout 4s. And you're stuck with this debt until it's paid off; thanks to some Avatar-level law-bending on the part of the loan companies, it's very hard to make that debt disappear even if you go bankrupt (though it is possible, despite prevailing myths). You'd think that would be enough for the loan companies, but the real world still needs its share of cartoon villains to twirl their villainous mustaches.
Bethesda Game Studios
A hundred Deathclaws can't compare to one lawyer refusing to leave you the fuck alone.
For example, if you ask companies servicing your loans to put your payments toward higher-cost loans first, you might get the response of laughter, "Yeah, sure, whatever," or the loan company proceeding to do fuck-all. You might also find yourself saddled with late fees for no reason, or having documentation simply "go missing," as if it were abducted by agents in a black van in the middle of the night.
More likely than not, the company servicing your loan won't tell you that there are better repayment options out there. One report found that even though 51 percent of students are eligible for some sort of debt relief, only 15 percent actually take advantage of it. Instead, most companies suggest forbearance, wherein you can avoid payments for six months but interest keeps building up, meaning you ultimately have to pay more. For some reason, the loan companies never sat down and thought, "Maybe we should tell them they don't have to give us all this money?"
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"I mean, we were just going to burn it all while starving children watch helplessly.
I'm sure the customers have better ideas."
As a result of all this fuckery, more than a quarter of student loan borrowers are either delinquent or default, ruining their credit and what remains of their Ramen budget. And when you fall behind on payments, the companies will put you through Hell to get that money back from you, as if they're doing their best Godfather impersonation.
"Well, I'll just look around and go with a student loan company that doesn't do that crap!" First off, stop yelling at your monitor; your family is worried about you. Second, no, you won't, because you can't. You're not actually allowed to choose your loan servicer; the government and the loan companies make that decision for you. Your student loan debt will get sold and resold for decades after you sign the paperwork.
"I've lived a full life. I've laughed, I've loved, and the first week of my freshman year
is just about paid off. I'm ready."
In other words, there's an excellent chance you'll produce new humans and send them to college before you actually manage to pay off your own student loan debt.
Be sure to check out 5 Disturbing New Ways Debt Collectors Are Getting Your Money and 4 Things You Should Do When You Owe People Money.
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