Young people, right? Give them a copy of Atlas Shrugged, The Communist Manifesto, or Goofus And Gallant Go To The Electric Daisy Carnival, and they get all brassy and smug just because they're going to die a few decades after you. Fortunately, the media has a surefire way of making the olds feel better about themselves: clickbait news stories that depict millennials as slobbering nincompoops.
Look, folks: You were either fresh-faced and intolerable once, or are currently limber and supple and absolutely excruciating to be around. (Or perhaps you're experiencing the twin pleasures of being ancient and awful, like a cursed mummy.) But the point is that portraying the youth of today as Archie and Jughead hopped up on The Weeknd and emojis isn't going to make the world a less stupid place. So the next time you see the news broadbrush an entire generation as dumbshits, remember the following overblown yarns ...
A Professor Didn't Fail His Entire Class Out of "Tough Love"
Digital Vision./DigitalVision/Getty Images
Ah, college. It's that cherished time in a young person's life when they can live in the same hoodie for four to eight years, and plunk down $150,000 for the privilege of napping through a communications class. So when a story made its way around the Internet a while back about a Texas A&M University professor failing an entire class as a form of "tough love," it made total sense. Good on that rough-and-tumble Texan for showing those damn millennials what the world is really like.
Namely: Controlled entirely by the arbitrary whims of old, angry, uncaring white dudes.
One headline even went so far as to question, "Is This A Millennials Problem?" but forgot to include the answer, which is a resounding "Ha, no." The class was fine, but the professor was nutty, and not in an Eddie-Murphy-in-a-Fat-Suit way.
See, what the stories neglected to mention was that this professor was in the middle of a mid-semester meltdown. Nobody can fail until after finals, when they're safe at home and away from those mean ol' professors. They also left out the part where he basically said "You've failed!" as a sort of middle finger to everyone around him. After being denied the opportunity to teach only the best students at the school, the prof started mentally choreographing an "I Quit!" tap number (we assume) and straight-up got the fuck out of Dodge.
Goddamn entitled Boomer snowflakes.