The lack of Star Power wasn't doing him any favors, either.

Most people who play Dark Souls with a regular controller give up after several hundred deaths, and this guy beat it with a character who was barely listening to him. Playing Dark Souls with a Guitar Hero guitar is like teaching an actual person to fight skeletons using only an electric guitar for communication and holy shit we just came up with the sweetest idea for a kung fu movie ever.

Oh, and this guitar killer isn't the only gamer to think of doing something impossible with something stupid. A Destiny player recently went into a six-man raid by himself and defeated Crota. And before you shriek "Crota's only like level 32! Anyone could do that!" keep in mind that this Crota-slayer was using a Rock Band drum kit.

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Still easier than playing "YYZ."

Another player with more determination than hobbies managed to beat Soul Calibur on the hardest difficulty with only a Dreamcast fishing pole. And that thing didn't even really have buttons. He had to execute precision martial arts by waggling a plastic fishing pole at his TV and cranking on the reel, which is probably only slightly easier than catching a real fish with karate.

Which is in fact what inspired the Wii Remote.

And remember the grueling, torturous Dark Souls, which someone beat with a guitar? The one we told you about like two minutes ago? One player went through it armed with less than that. Dark Souls player Lobos Jr beat the game using only somersaults. For hours, he tumbled around enemies and executed them slowly with whimsical bumping. It's crazy -- this guy killed an entire realm of monsters using the exact same methods clowns probably use to kill their victims.

That's ridiculous. Everyone knows that clowns use weaponized balloon animals.

He had to avoid killing a single enemy. He had to make precision jumps without touching any coins. He had to patiently wait minutes at the end of each level so the timer counted down to 000. Because if you remember, Mario gets points for every second left on the clock. One thing this playthrough taught us is that goddamn everything in Super Mario Bros. tried to give you points. You can't even avoid them sometimes. Watch here, as he magically glitch-jumps off of certain death just to avoid picking up two 100-point coins.

Nintendo
"Got! To! FAIL AT ANY COST!!!"

In the end, he managed to rescue the princess with only 500 points, which theoretically is the lowest possible score under any circumstance (since you get 100 for clearing a level, and there's no way around beating five levels). Maybe future generations will find a way to fail harder, but experts agree that it's as terrible as anyone can be using current Mario technology. You can watch this perfectly bad run here:

And count how many times your thumb reflexively twitches to jump for coins.

The Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time is a brilliant, groundbreaking, perfect game which no one ever wants to replay because there's this bullshit water temple level that's seriously nine hours of tinkering with an irrigation system. So it's beyond comprehension that someone managed to learn the game well enough to beat it completely blindfolded.

Nintendo/tanteishoryu
And apparently with the help of a dozen seeing eye nerds.

The player's name is Runnerguy, and he performed the feat in front of a crowd at Awesome Games Done Quick, an event where gamers gather to beat games at world-record paces and perform Nintendo miracles. Runnerguy said he was inspired to learn the art of sightless Zelda when teaching the game to a blind friend. This act of kindness became an obsession, and he eventually became Hyrule's own Daredevil.

You're probably wondering "What? How!?" Well, he can tell his position in the game by how Link sounds when he's running on different terrain. He uses a combination of backflips and side steps to measure his distance, and then it's simply a matter of memorizing hundreds of miles of caverns and tektite lairs to keep from getting lost. It also doesn't hurt that your character is haunted by a fairy sidekick who seems incapable of shutting the hell up.

Still, to navigate a murderous 3D world using footstep sounds and fairy outbursts is incredible. Here he is defeating the first boss of the game more easily than most players could with zero or fewer blindfolds:

Nintendo/tanteishoryu
"HOLY SHIT, DID YOU SEE THAT!?"
"... No."

There's an embed of the entire video below, so close your eyes and listen to the sliding of your mouse getting closer and closer to it ... you're close ... almost there ... NOW.

"Nope, you clicked on porn again."

Another player who managed to beat video games without any relevant senses was a French woman named Kayane. In front of a crowd of fans, she beat a guy in Soul Calibur without even looking at the screen. Instead, she watched the crowd and played based on their collective screaming. It seems a person can play Soul Calibur the same way a confused husband plays The Price Is Right.

"One dollar! ONE DOLLAR!"