Ahem. Anyway, the film's director, Ivan Reitman, mentioned on the DVD commentary that he ran into Atherton sometime after the film's release, and instead of greeting him as one might normally greet the man who made you internationally famous, Atherton was completely pissed off. Not only were people trying to fight him, but he also had random assholes shouting at him in public. In one incident that was absolutely horrible and totally not the greatest thing we've ever heard, a bus full of kids spotted him on the street and yelled "DICKLESS!" at him from the windows. The joke's on them, though; if any celebrity on Earth is likely to become a ghost and haunt the shit out of people who were assholes to them, it'd be this guy.

No word on how the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man is taking his fame, but given that we haven't seen him in any more movies, we're guessing it's not well.

Columbia Pictures "Oh, he's got a gig in the adult film industry."

Wilson played Biff and other assorted Tannens in the Back To The Future trilogy, a universally-beloved series that some freaking nerds just can't seem to stop talking about. In fact, he gets asked the same handful of questions so often that he went ahead and had all the answers printed on some postcards, which he now carries everywhere. Whenever someone approaches and Wilson senses that they're gonna start asking Back To The Future questions (perhaps there's a certain smell that sets them apart), he just hands them one of these:

Tom Wilson "Can you at least call me a butthead or punch my Grandma?"

At this point, we're guessing this is less about saving time and more about straight-up self-preservation. If he didn't give these to people, he wouldn't have time for eating or sleeping, and would drop dead within a few days. Wilson seems fairly good-natured about it, though; he's taken several of the above questions and turned them into a comedy song, which he plays at some of his stand-up shows.

The takeaway message here seems to be "Thanks for being a fan. I appreciate it. But for the love of God, please shut the hell up."

With the Harry Potter series being as popular as it is with the younger crowd, it makes sense that the actors and actresses would get more fan mail than they could possibly read or reply to (or at least, that's what we tell ourselves to sleep at night). This is especially true in the case of Emma Watson, since her fan mail pile looks less like the heap of pink envelopes you're imagining, and more like this:

Gord Horne/iStock/Getty Images Hopefully, this didn't start when she was underage, because this thing is full of perverted stuff and raunchy humor.

Watson says that she constantly receives Bibles in the mail, revealing that the film series is really big with old grandmothers and/or serial killers. They seem to come from people who think that Harry Potter is the most satanic thing ever, and that the actors only contribute to this moral decadence because no one's simply informed them that organized religion is a thing that exists. This hilarious passive-aggressiveness doesn't seem to faze Watson, though; she told The Sun that she's got a collection of 20 Bibles now. We would have probably fled our homes after Bible number three, because we've seen more than enough stalker movies to know how that ends.

What's odd is that her male co-stars don't seem to have this problem ... which doesn't mean that the postman doesn't deliver weird shit to them, too. Besides the normal scrapbooks of his own face -- which, let's face it, we've all made at some point -- Daniel Radcliffe says he also gets photos of regular objects, like a milk bottle or a door (his own). The most baffling ones, however, are the "Freddy-Krueger-like masks." You could see them as a reference to that horror movie he did, Horns, but he started receiving these masks years before that film even came out. People decided entirely on their own that Harry Potter needed to get monster faces in the mail.

halloweencostumes.com "Hi. Do you have a minute to talk about Our Lady of Perpetual Terror?"

Finally, the actor who played Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire probably has it worse off than anyone. If you're not sure who that is, you might have seen his face on the posters of some obscure indie film he made called Twilight. Sparkly vampire heartthrob Robert Pattinson has gotten vials of blood from fans. Or at least, we hope they're from fans and not, like, bacteriologists short on guinea pigs.

"It's still better than the fans who mail me glitter."

The impressive part (in a fucked-up way) is that the threats were sent over the Internet, and this was back in 1994. Cat memes weren't even a thing yet and online porn had only recently been upgraded from "text art" to "actual images," but random angry people were already using this wonderful new technology to tell celebrities to eat shit and die. The experience unfortunately soured McDowell on the World Wide Web, and he's apparently hated it ever since. Which at least explains this:

As for why the rabid fans chose an actor who was just following the script and not, you know, whoever wrote that thing, that's anyone's guess. We get that you're a crazy person who is sad that Kirk will never show up to your house with the Enterprise to take you on fantastic space adventures, but the least you could do is direct your irrational hatred at the right person.