To further prove that Keurig cares about its users so damn much, they also told people waiting for their machines to be fixed that they could use them anyway -- they just had to stand at least an arm's length back (or, preferably, operate it from across the room using a broomstick). Meanwhile, the couple and their son had to rely on the Red Cross and family members to not freeze to death, but they can take comfort in the fact that John Sylvan, inventor of the Keurig, has since issued an apology ... to the environment.
An Auto Parts Company's Airbags Shoot Shrapnel at People's Faces, so It Recalls Them ... 10 Years Later
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While two of the previous entries seem like some of the biggest auto industry cover-ups in history, they're not even the biggest cover-up on this list. Takata is a Japanese manufacturer of auto parts who recently caused a recall of millions of vehicles in the U.S. alone when it was discovered that their airbags would go off at the slightest provocation. While having a bag explode in your face during a cruise down the highway is dangerous enough, that's not everything Takata threw at you:
They knock you out with a metal tube so you forget the crash? How considerate.
That's the airbag's steel inflator, which doesn't actually jump at your face in a dreamy slow motion like that GIF implies -- in many cases, the thing actually exploded and deployed shrapnel at people's faces. According to former employees, Takata got their first "your airbag tried to re-create Saving Private Ryan on my face" complaint in 2004 and sent two engineers to go collect 50 or so airbags from scrapyards and test them. The engineers were so alarmed by the results that they immediately began to redesign the airbag. That's when the executives reportedly stepped in and told them to delete the data, dispose of the airbags, and to forget about what they had seen.
"Have a free coffee maker!"
Even after the issue became public, that didn't stop Takata from acting like greedy douchebags about it. The company said the problem was related to humidity, so they started recalling vehicles only in high-humidity states, because nobody ever drives out of town. The NHTSA asked them to expand the recall so that drivers weren't playing Russian Roulette every time it rained, but Takata didn't feel that was necessary. The government disagreed and decided to fine Takata $7,000 per unrecalled car per day, which, with an estimated 8 million unrecalled cars, worked out to approximately one Warren Buffett per day. That's when Takata felt a sudden sense of social responsibility and made the recall nationwide.
Hang in there, sirs. If this article has taught us anything, it's that no one will give a shit in a few years.
For further joys of industry, check out 4 Hilarious Leaked Emails Corporations Don't Want You to See and 5 Outrageous Lies Companies Are Legally Allowed to Tell You.