A Judge Rules That It's OK to Peek Up Teens' Skirts and Take Pictures
David De Lossy/Photodisc/Getty Images
Our justice system is designed to discourage people from doings things like mugging, killing, or crouching in store aisles and taking snapshots of a 13-year-old girl's panties. Wait, no, you can scratch that last one from the list, because a judge in Oregon just let a confessed pervert go free for doing exactly that. His logic? That there's cameras everywhere now, and "it's incumbent on us as citizens to cover up whatever we don't want filmed in public places."
AndreyPopov/iStock/Getty Images"For instance, I'm not wearing anything under this robe, and I'm perfectly fine with that."
In other words, no one should ever wear a skirt in public, because they might entice someone into literally kneeling to take pictures of their private parts ... and this goes for little kids, too. Speaking of which, isn't this, you know, child pornography? Not according to the court -- the defense attorney successfully argued that privacy laws ban people from taking clandestine photos in places like bathrooms and such, but this happened in a Target store, so it doesn't count. What about Walmart? Would that be sufficiently bathroom-like for the judge? We'll have to wait for someone to try this there to find out. On the one hand, the judge did say letting the guy go free was "upsetting." On the other, he basically ruled that making kiddie porn is OK, as long as you have the decency to do it in a public place.
A Pet Shop Owner Is Arrested for Beating His Employees With a Lizard
Three surefire ways to be a terrible boss are "damaging your merchandise," "beating your employees," and "being cruel to animals in your establishment for no reason." None of these techniques were good enough on their own for Benjamin Siegel of Siegel Reptiles in Florida, so he decided to combine all three into a single act of violent insanity, thus becoming responsible for some of the greatest news headlines ever published:
upi.comThe word "Florida" is implied here.