Let's say you accept the premise of all these ads -- that women with crotch hair are automatically gross (and plenty of people who see the ad don't). Why would that also make fur trim gross? The only thing pubes and fur have in common is they're both hair, and our brain is already accustomed to categorizing hair and pubic hair in very separate sections. This is like trying to convince us water is gross because it's sometimes in toilets. These PETA ads seem like the work of someone so desperately lonely they forgot what they were mad about in the first place. They're the Linkin Park of activism.
The Sexy Way to Do Christmas
"Look, we can do this the hard way, or the really hard way."
We had to leave this one for the end. And we just want to say ... we're sorry.
So, what's sexier than Christmas and sex toys? Well, according to this ad from RFSU, in collaboration with Naked Sweden, anything. The official slogan reads "Christmas just got sexier," which isn't saying much since family, reindeer, and egg nog are the exact keywords paramedics use to counter Viagra overdoses. If a 400-pound drifter comes into your home like this, you don't think, "Sexy." You think, "It might be best to turn the gun on myself while I have the chance."
"Oh, I can cock that thing for you if you want ..."
Every detail of this is disturbing, from Santa's power-lifter abs to the tiny glimpse of his peach leopard thong. This man is here to do terrible things, and that's before you realize that entire sack is full of dildos. That's not a joke -- look closely.
"Stockings, you -- I'm not going until everything gets stuffed."
In one image, they managed to ruin both sex and Christmas, which, if you think about it, is pretty impressive. They probably give out awards for that kind of thing, down in that special part of hell reserved for advertisers.
Ryan Menezes is an interviewer and layout editor here at Cracked. His Twitter page is sexy and horrifying.
For more questionable advertisements, check out 8 'Sexy' Ads That Will Haunt Your Dreams and 12 'Sexy' Ads That Will Give You Nightmares.
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