Quick! Jump over to 5 Brain Tricks That Improve Work Productivity!
But a man identified only as "Bob" (for reasons that shall become hilariously obvious) took one look at everyone else's work web habits and said, "You know what? I can do better." Bob, being a software developer, was pretty good with numbers, and when he crunched his several-hundred-thousand-dollar-a-year salary against the amount for which overseas labor could be had, he came up with possibly the very best idea in the entire history of lazy-ass ideas. For a fraction of his salary (about $50,000 a year), Bob could simply outsource his own job to China.
So, Bob took his coded security fob for remote access to the company's network and shipped it to a high-tech Chinese sweatshop, then proceeded to sit at his computer and look busy while a team of developers on the other side of the planet did all his work for him. Obviously, this left Bob with a shitload of downtime, and according to his computer history he kept a pretty regular schedule. We couldn't possibly improve Bob's "work" schedule with jokes, so here it is verbatim:
9 a.m. -- Arrive and surf Reddit for a couple of hours. Watch cat videos
11:30 a.m. -- Take lunch
1 p.m. -- eBay time
2-ish p.m -- Facebook updates -- LinkedIn
4:30 p.m. -- End of day update email to management
5 p.m. -- Go home
Hill Street Studios/Blend Images/Getty Images