The Italian Terminator 2 Is Also Aliens ... And Terrible
The Italian sequel to The Terminator was released in 1990, and while it doesn't hold a candle to the real Terminator sequel we all know and love, the poster actually gives you a bit of hope.
Though it could also be a sci-fi sequel to Risky Business.
Strangely, this Terminator 2 more closely follows the plot of Aliens. And by "more closely," we mean exactly. Here, you can see the identical Italian doppelgangers of Ripley and the marines from Aliens. Also Fabio.
"You all remember Sergeant Gnarly."
They're sent in to kill some aliens, who look more like the lizardman Captain Kirk dropkicked than the actual xenomorphs.
"I'm a failed animatronic. Mediocre tissue over a shitty endoskeleton."
And for no valid reason whatsoever, there's a Terminator! With the aliens!
You can tell he's a Terminator because of the badge.
Sure, he doesn't really look like Arnold Schwarzenegger, but by the time he shows up, too much of the movie has happened for you to demand your money back. Of course, the whole thing is a shameless attempt to cash in on someone else's characters, but wanting to see Ellen Ripley fight both aliens and a Terminator is an understandable motive ... even if what we get is "Ellie Ropley" slap-wrestling a gorn while a sickly Italian man fails to emote.
It should be noted, however, that we are completely down with Sergeant Gnarly getting his own spin-off flick where he has to beat the Terminator in a surfing competition to save the rec center.
J.M. McNab writes and podcasts for Rewatchability.com. You can also find him on Twitter.
For more insane attempts to cash in, check out The 10 Most Tenuously Connected Movie Sequels and The 6 Most Psychotic Rip-Offs of Famous Animated Films.
Once you've finally seen the true sequels to Aliens and Terminator, click the Facebook 'share' button below, and share the revelations.