But then, as seen on this dashboard camera video from his patrol car, Jolley spotted a little something next to a tree:

KWTV
"Wait, the mom said a 10-month-old; this one's clearly 11. Oh well, back to the tree."

Against all odds, he found Aleah about 100 feet away from the house, covered in mud and resting peacefully like a, you know, baby (one that didn't just get thrown 100 feet by a tornado). Other than a hairline fracture and a cut on her head, she was completely intact -- in fact, she only started crying once Jolley freed her of all the dirt on her face, presumably because it had just gotten warm and cozy.

Today, Aleah is a perfectly healthy teenager who says tornadoes are "cool," although she doesn't sound very impressed by them from her description: "I like how they work and how they can destroy so much but they're just wind going in a circle."

KWTV
Well, she'd know.

Thulasi Suppiah was taking a well-deserved nap after an intense morning of pooping in her diapers, some whining, and a lot of being adorable in a general baby-like fashion. That's when the tsunami hit her parents' restaurant in northern Malaysia, pushing the adults right out of the building before they could reach the baby, who slept in a bed in another room. If being rudely kicked out of your property by a massive flood of water already sucks balls, imagine how terrifying it must be when you combine it with the fact that your baby is still in there.

The worried parents managed to "claw their way back to the badly damaged building" later that day, and what they saw inside was even more impressive than the overwhelming act of nature they'd just witnessed: their baby, lying on a mattress, floating in a 5-foot pool of water.

Andy Wong/AP via The Guardian
They have since removed the indoor pool God gave them as a Christmas gift.

Yes, all the furniture in the building had been abruptly rearranged by the tsunami, but little Thulasi was technically still exactly where they had left her. Had she rolled to the side, she would have fallen into the water, but thankfully the view of the ceiling proved interesting enough to stare at until her parents came back. And, although she was crying at the time they found her, we suspect that had less to do with the tsunami and more with the fact that babies are grumpy when awoken.

Now, Thulasi might very well be indestructible, but anyone would understand if, like Bruce Willis in Unbreakable, she was terrified of water. Nope: The now 10-year-old loves to swim. In the ocean.

facebook.com/pages/Thulaashi-the-Tsunami-Miracle-Baby
Only a true badass turns her back to someone who already tried to kill her.

We're not sure if there's some scientific basis for this, but it appears that the babies of Melbourne, Australia, are train-proof. Seriously, how the hell else can you explain the fact that two babies in the city fell underneath trains, seven months apart, and in both cases came away with nothing more than a few minor scrapes and perhaps a newly minted turd in their pants?

Seven News
Which is exactly what we dropped when watching the security footage.

Again, that baby is still in one piece.

That happened in October 2009, when a 6-month-old baby boy in a stroller rolled onto the tracks in Melbourne just as a train pulled into the station, to the shock of all present. But then, after the train stopped, workers realized that the baby was still fine underneath, with a bump on his head but otherwise in pristine condition. The baby was taken to the hospital but released the same day, presumably because his skin broke all the needles when they tried to inject him.

Seven News
The stroller, sadly, did not make it.

The fact that the baby landed at the precise spot to survive being run over by a train was a stroke of luck that could never happen again ... until May 2010, when it totally fucking did. This time, a 15-month-old baby in a stroller rolled onto the tracks, but landed in such a way that the train merely pushed it "for a short distance" without harming it. Oh, and this also happened in Melbourne.

In each instance, authorities urged parents to be careful, because they don't want to give away Australia's superhuman breeding program quite yet. Unfortunately the people of Melbourne aren't really bothered, if this 2012 video of a baby rolling onto a train track is anything to go by. That particular baby was rescued from the tracks before any trains arrived -- or rather, as it's Melbourne, the baby was removed from the railway before any trains were damaged.

Erika's heart started beating again and she was acting normally within a few days. It was described as a "one in a million chance" by her pediatrician.

An 11-year-old Erika and her mother gave an interview in 2011, and while the whole experience appears to be very emotional for her mom, Erika herself is much more nonchalant about it: "It was really cold and I walked outside," she said, glossing over the whole "and became lord of the elements" aspect. Today her tale has joined the legends of that mysterious land up north, and she even has her own folk song.

BBC
She seems pretty chill about it.

But, precisely because Mokhles was busy being distracted/grossed out by the sight of the baby leaving his wife's vagina and dangling upside down, he didn't notice the crash barrier he had just swerved into. The car bounced and rolled over four times, crossing two lanes of highway, until it landed in a ditch. Besides Mokhles and his wife, their previous two offspring were sitting in the back seat of the car. Mokhles says that after the crash he thought the entire family might be dead, because of course he fucking did.

Finding his wife unconscious and his two other children rattled but unhurt, Mokhles panicked when he realized his seconds-old daughter "had disappeared from sight." However, as with every time you lose something important in your car, he found what he was looking for in the most classic hiding place: underneath the passenger seat. The little indestructibaby was completely fine.

BBC
Except for some mild exposure to an expired taco and a long-lost Mama Mia CD.

The mother had a few injuries, but the rest of the family was OK. The car itself was written off, but luckily for the parents they'd borrowed it from a friend. Presumably they'd ramped their own car into the ocean during conception or something.