... because happy people are content; they do not come looking for the Prince of Silence.
slavazyryanov/iStock/Getty Images
We're not saying this guy was a ninja, just that he was totally qualified.
His main construction efforts were focused underground, though. Fifteen miles of tunnels were constructed, some large enough to drive a carriage through. There was also an underground library, a billiards room, and an observatory fitted with a glass roof. A vast subterranean ballroom was built, complete with a hydraulic lift capable of carrying 20 people. Why a man who shunned humanity like a Milford Academy alumnus would create a room specifically for parties, nobody knows. The labyrinthine tunnels connected to the house and grounds above via trapdoors so Bentinck could wander without risk of encountering anyone. To relay orders, an elaborate system of mailboxes was used. Also: Every room and tunnel was painted bright pink.
All right, we're calling it: Bentinck was Prince's great-great-great-grandpa.