3NYPD "Helps" Paranoid Officer Check into Mental Hospital
In October of 2009, NYPD officers of the 81st Precinct were worried about one of their own. Officer Adrian Schoolcraft had been spreading malicious rumors about nefarious activities at the precinct and had been declared "emotionally unstable" by a police department psychiatrist, so when he unexpectedly left work early one day, his co-workers were obviously concerned. That night, they went to his apartment, talked his landlord into giving them a key by explaining that Schoolcraft was suicidal, and then helped him check into a psychiatric ward to get the help he so desperately needed. Oh, and the way they chose to help was by handcuffing him to a gurney. Tough love, you know.
"The duct tape and rope are because we care, man."
While the final report produced by Schoolcraft's involuntary committal indicated plenty of paranoid behavior -- "He expressed questionable paranoid ideas of conspiracy and cover-ups going [on] in the precinct" and "Since then, he started collecting 'evidence' to 'prove his point' and became suspicious 'They are after him.'" -- it was ultimately decided after a few days of observation that he displayed no significant psychiatric symptoms. That didn't stop the hospital from giving Schoolcraft one last kick in the balls as he checked out in the form of a bill for $7,185.
That's still pretty cheap by kidnapping standards.
But It Turned Out ...
Not only had Schoolcraft recorded that handcuff-heavy police visit to his apartment (he had two tape recorders running at the time, but his co-workers only found one), but he had been taping every roll call at the precinct since 2008. And boy oh boy, were these tapes doozies: In order to meet the quotas that the department was expected to produce, officers were repeatedly ordered to arrest people who were just standing around being all law-abiding, deliberately underreport serious crimes ("lost property" sounds a whole lot less scary than "robbery at gunpoint"), or downright ignore victims of serious crimes. Official procedure dictates employing the "Plug your ears, close your eyes, and yell 'Na na I can't seeeee yooou'" maneuver.
Those annoying potential murder victims tend to work themselves out if you ignore them.
Joe Raedle/Getty Images News/Getty Images
"Screaming followed by the line going dead again? There sure are a lot of prank calls tonight."
Note that Schoolcraft wasn't slapping bugs directly onto the chief of police's ass -- he was simply recording the day-to-day activities of his precinct, and the product was so damning that his superiors had him forcibly committed. The fallout from the tapes contributed to the end of New York City's stop-and-frisk policy and played no small part in shifting the focus of New York City police work away from producing impressive stats and back to actual police work. Or, failing that, kicking some serious ass at Candy Crush while sipping coffee in the cruiser.
2Gary Webb Claims the CIA Helped Kick Off the Drug Epidemic
Gary Webb was a Pulitzer Prize-winning reporter for the San Jose Mercury News who mostly investigated government corruption. His most famous work was a series of articles published in 1996 called "Dark Alliance," in which Webb presented evidence that, through funding Contra sympathizers/known narcotics producers in Nicaragua, the CIA had effectively and wittingly assisted with smuggling cocaine into America. And not just because the CIA are such notorious party animals.
You can only party so hard when it requires Level 4 clearance to access the keg.
The CIA released an official denial of the allegations, and Webb got his ass kicked by the journalistic community, enduring attacks on his credibility by such major pillars of the newspaper world as the New York Times and the Los Angeles Times -- even the Weekly World News' Batboy dropped in to shake his head sadly in disapproval. Webb took so much damage from his peers that his own newspaper persuaded him to quit by reassigning him to a bureau 150 miles from his house.
But It Turned Out ...
Following Webb's decline, the CIA conducted their own internal investigation and, two years after the publication of "Dark Alliance," they publicly acknowledged that, whoops, they had in fact been covering up Contra drug trafficking. For more than a decade.
Tiomono at en wikipedia
We guess nobody asked Tim, the crack-funding guy, whether he'd funded any good crack lately.
The news swept across the nation, and all those major newspapers that had previously blasted Webb with their contempt for his shoddy journalism printed front-page apolog- nah! Haha, just kidding. Can you imagine? Journalistic accountability, in this day and age?
Of course the corrected story barely registered, and Webb left journalism altogether and eventually committed suicide, because the world is fucking awful. But hey, that's what drugs are for: to obliterate the tragic reality of our daily lives. Might we recommend some quality crack cocaine? We hear the government's got their hands on some good shit.