Arnie: And I'm totally amazed!
Paul: And he's looking, and he says, "Is this me?"
Arnie: And I look at the gun!
Paul: So this is really, this is-
Arnie: Exactly. "How did I do that?"
Maybe you just had to be there.
Throw in a few spit-rich explosion noises and this is exactly how your 6-year-old would describe Skylanders to his disinterested uncle. Here's all Arnold has to say about Conan the Barbarian:
"Look at me sleeping there, that is funny." -Actual commentary
In his Terminator 3 commentary, Arnold gets really distracted, speculating about how great it would be if women could actually adjust their boob size at will.
Arnie: This scene with the enlargement of the breasts was fantastic ... in the audience you see immediately women in the audience saying "Wouldn't it be nice, where can you get that done?" Because there's some guys that like little breasts and there's some guys that like big breasts so wouldn't it be nice if we could play both sides you know and sometimes even simultaneously?
Warner Bros. Pictures
It's better with the sound effects.
We know Arnie's got his issues: the steroids, the sexism, the puns he reflexively utters after murdering folks. But turn on commentary for one of his movies sometime and try not to be utterly charmed as a man that could tear your head off with his teeth turns into an excitable child every time something explodes.
Dustin Koski is also the author of the serial novel Please, God and looks forward to doing commentary on it if you visit it and vote it up. Also he recommends David Dietle's Gloom. Michael Taylor writes about the best in alternative rock, cult classic films, TV, and other geek pop culture goodness on his blog smellslikeinfinitesadness.com.
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Related Reading: If you love meltdowns, check out this news anchor who destroyed his career in three seconds. And then there's the violence filled meltdown of actor / comedian Katt Williams, the only man to use a motorized shopping cart as a getaway car. Of course, no discussion of people flipping the fuck out would be complete without these actor meltdowns behind famous movies.