Just ask Rolando Trinidad: He was roaring down the highway one night when he swerved to avoid a dog crossing the road and lost control of his motorcycle. That's bad enough luck all on its own, but much like a news anchor street fight, things escalated quickly. First, the pistol in his waistband (side note: Who was the first guy to decide that "the area immediately above my genitals" was the only natural place to store a deadly weapon?) went off, shooting him through the groin. The bullet entered "near his testicles and exited at his right buttock." So within a matter of seconds, we have a serious accident and a gunshot wound. Ouch.
But wait, there's more! Act now, and we'll throw in a free heart attack!
That's right: The shock and stress on Trinidad's body from the back-to-back motorcycle crash and bullet wound immediately triggered a serious cardiac episode.
He didn't tell doctors about the heart attack. He just yelled "Save the BALLS."
So not only an accident, but a motorcycle accident. Not only a gunshot wound, but a gunshot wound to the groin. And then a heart attack, like the deadly cherry atop a disastrous sundae. Miraculously, Trinidad was brought to the Eastern Bicol Medical Center and came out with his life.