So ... clouds. Pretty boring, right? They're nothing more than big, fluffy blobs of water condensation, hanging around in the sky, lounging about on their fat asses all day and contributing nothing to sky society.
But then along comes Australia. As it tends to do, Earth's most insane continent took a look at the concept of clouds and decided to create something horrifyingly badass out of it -- in this case, the awesomely named "Morning Glory clouds."
Alternate names considered were "Big Poo clouds" and "My Dick."
These cloud formations consist of long, tube-shaped shafts of water vapor up to 600 miles in length and 1,000 feet tall. The clouds are so rare around the world that they can only be predictably spotted in a very specific area of the Gulf of Carpentaria, and only then during the dry season from August to November.
Morning Glory clouds appear there every few days during this period, always in the morning and always accompanied by what a pilot might refer to in technical jargon as "swirling skydeath." OK, so we just made that up, but believe us, it's appropriate: Air at the front of the cloud is forced upward at insane velocities, while violently turbulent currents at the back of the cloud slap the air downward at around 1,500 feet per minute. Any rational person in Burketown -- the small settlement right in the middle of all this Morning Glory action -- would take one look at these aerial steamrollers and ride it out indoors, presumably while weeping openly and cursing the casual wrath of nature.