Cracked Round-Up: Life's Greatest Question Edition
Our Enlightenment Team spent years roaming the world. They gathered dozens of philosophers, scientists, holy men- and brought them here, to Cracked's offices. We locked them all in a conference room for six days with one task: find the greatest unanswered question in all of human existence.
If we'd locked some water in there with them, it might even have worked.
Adam Brown got us going with a shameless plug for his open mic night. Brendan McGinley revealed the physical traits that determine an evil character while Gladstone looked at ways you can tell the economy still sucks. Bucholz was next, with a guide to swapping bodies with your mortal enemy. Soren Bowie followed up with the Craigslist Missed Connections of the movie world and Luke McKinney showed the board games that ruin it for everyone. John Cheese dished up some life advice on the worst things people do while trying to help as Brockway stirred up simple problems technology should have fixed by now. Luke McKinney primed us for the weekend with the most impressive tales of online gaming dickery.
|6 Moments in Video Game Adaptations That Improved The Movie
And yet, Chronicles of Riddick is the only case where people say 'play the game, don't watch the movie'.
Notable Comment: "The biggest mistake is luke having a red lightsaber and vader having a blue. Thats just fucked"
The hell, Silent_Bob? A guy can't prefer the color red without being a Sith Lord? That's just offensive, dude.
|The 5 Most Embarrassing Past Lives of Famous Musicians
If Billy Joel can bounce back from Attila, you can bounce back from anything. Even murder.
Notable Comment: "I wouldn't make fun of Billy Joel. That entire song was about how Billy Joel is secretly at every important moment of your life, just out of view. Anger him, and he will f**k every second of your existence with fire and kickass sunglasses/suit combo."
SOCOM gives a lot of Badass Credits to the man who wrote 'Uptown Girl'.
|5 Famous Online Copyright Crusaders Who Are Total Hypocrites
You only crusade against the ones you love.
Notable Comment: "Isn't MTV it's own trashy cousin? "
Yes, Earthbound_X, but at least it's its own second cousin.
|5 Shockingly Advanced Ancient Buildings That Shouldn't Exist
Our ancestors weren't stupid, and they didn't have things like "television" and "internet pornography" to distract them from making crazy shit.
Notable Comment: "Is it bad that I actually knew about most of these from watching Ancient Aliens?"
'Bad' is the wrong term, soasertsus. 'Harbinger of the End Times' is more to the point.
|5 Diabolical Ways Your Body Tricks You Into Being Fat
In all fairness, most of us don't require much trickery.
Notable Comment: "The western infidels grow fatter, now is the time to strike."
Now? Give the Doritos tacos people two more years, Noelinho, and there won't be any more infidels to hate.
Adam Tod Brown
|Why The Future of Space Travel is Going to Suck
Cult or sober space travel, your choice.
YOU YOU YOU!
|23 Famous Movie Plots Easily Solved by Text Messages
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