So put yourself in the shoes of 38-year-old Shen Jianzhong, who -- along with the rest of his village -- was given an ultimatum to leave his home or there'd be trouble. Eventually 70 of the 100 families in Shen's village gave in and moved, and with so few holdouts the threats only escalated. A gang of men mysteriously appeared and began harassing and beating people in the street. One day when Shen's wife went out to buy some instant noodles, a gang of "30 to 50 men" blocked her way out of the house and shoved her down, which understandably pissed Shen off.
We should mention at this point that Shen was a devoted kung fu fan, because if you're going to live up to Asian stereotypes, live up to them all.
World Record Association
Pictured here trying to fill "love robots" stereotype by apparently turning into a motorcycle.
Shen and his son transformed into a tornado of kung fu moves that presumably had names like the Thundering Hammer of Unconsciousness and the Flaming Tiger Claw of Holy s**t That Hurts, knocking the ever-loving crap out of several of the thugs and scaring the ever-loving crap out of the rest. Unfortunately nobody thought to fire up a video camera during the fight itself, but you can see the aftermath in this video, which shows Shen calmly sitting in front of his house, surrounded by comatose heaps that used to be his attackers while their as-yet-unsmacked-down friends shout useless threats at him (maintaining a minimum distance of 10 feet at all times).
"You just gonna stand there, or you gonna help me sweep these bodies out of my house?"