11

Why Being a Henchman in the Zelda Universe Would Suck by Those Aren't Muskets

If you're like us (and we know that you are, we have cybermetrics), you've spent a lot of time wondering how all the unlocked treasure chests that litter Hyrule's landscape actually got there. Well, great news! This year, Cracked and Those Aren't Muskets launched 8-Bits, a new series poking fun at the crazy logic of video game universes and answering all those nit-picky questions that our game-addled brains can't ignore. This episode, shot nearly two years ago, is the second installment. Watch for more next year!

10

'Game of Thrones': The Board Game by Cracked Staff

The definitive board game for the complex fantasy-based political thriller Game of Thrones. It's as fun as it is comprehensive and tedious. Oh, and it actually exists. We're still trying to finish our first round. We'll let you know how it goes.

9

The 3 Worst Pieces of Advice on the Internet by Does Not Compute

S.W.A.I.M-bot and Clippy team up again to warn you about the perils of taking advice from the Internet. They're aware of the irony. Part of the ongoing series Does Not Compute, this episode exposes broadsword vendors and vanilla sexperts alike. By the end, you won't be sure whom to trust. Believe us.

8

The Invention of Last Names: Stuff That Must Have Happened by Cracked Staff

The whole Cracked cast turned out for this Monty Python-inspired meditation on the origin of surnames. If you enjoy illiterate English peasants, stone amphitheaters, cuckoldry, or dirt, then you should continue watching this sketch. And if you look closely, you might notice some of our friends from 5 Second Films in the background.

Fun Fact: This sketch was shot at an empty summer camp in Idyllwild, California.

7

F#@K Batman: Why Gotham Would Hate the Caped Crusader by Cracked Staff

6

The Awful Spider-Man Movie James Cameron Almost Made by Obsessive Pop Culture Disorder

The pilot episode of Obsessive Pop Culture Disorder deconstructs a terrible and little-known Spider-Man screenplay written by James Cameron in the early '90s. This episode perfectly captures the snarky and painfully knowledgeable analysis of the series, and manages to both ruin James Cameron forever and illustrate one of Dan O'Brien's life mantras: If I can't be happy, then neither should you.

5

If Nature Documentaries Didn't Let Science Get in the Way by Cracked Staff

Professor Scott Bug educates and delights Cracked viewers with his musings on the sun, the Earth, and the bits and stuff that cover them both. Shot around beautiful tree stumps, rocks, and a creek, Marvels of the Science completely captured the wonder and vast complexity of our universe. So much so that we'll probably make more of them.

4

The Problem With Using Time Travel as a Murder Weapon by Cracked Staff

Conceived, shot, and edited in less than two weeks, this scathing satire of the movie Looper (based solely on the trailer for the movie Looper) was as ill-informed and presumptuous as it was badass. Predicting obvious plot problems that turned out to be mostly right, the sketch was later tweeted by such directors as the guy who directed Looper.

3

The Biggest Problem With High School (According to Movies) by Sketch Competition/Natural Disastronauts

People often say that high school is a time of self-discovery. But Cracked knows that what they really mean is that all high schoolers are actually adults wearing elaborate disguises in a misguided attempt to solve their life problems. This sketch was commissioned as part of our ongoing Sketch Competition, where you write the sketch and we make it. Look for more in the near future.

2

Why Supervillains Always Keep the Good Guy Alive by Cracked Staff

Notorious supervillain Dr. Malice and his evil henchman Cody Johnston from Cracked have managed to do what no other villain has ever done. They've killed William Blonde. The problem is, they never expected him to actually die. Like forever. It's kind of a bummer. And it really messes up the laser.

1

Stuff That Must Have Happened: The First Marriage by Cracked Staff

When a Neanderthal couple puzzles over the recent birth of a "belly gnome," they unwittingly stumble onto a game-changing truth. After they have sex for a while. Also, Cracked would like to reassure you that very few belly gnomes were harmed in the making of this film.