The Top 15 Cracked Videos of 2012
A look back at some of the most popular videos that we ran on Cracked this year mixed in with some of our personal favorites.
4 Creepy Hidden Truths Behind Popular Scary Stories by After Hours
Our four favorite humorists prove that even vacation can be meaninglessly deconstructed. In a spooky special episode shot in Idyllwild, California, Soren, Michael, Dan, and Katie debate the underlying psychological and social phenomena that create our scary story myths. Also, that scary clown is in the video, we promise. And if you look really closely, you'll notice that's real smoke in their eyes.
Why the Ending of 'Star Wars' Is Secretly Kind of Dumb by Today's Topic
For those of you who think that we only debate useless pop-culture minutia after work, we present our rebuttal. Today's Topic is a series that launched this year in which Cracked Staff revisit observations from previous articles and draw fresh conclusions on a variety of issues ranging from movies to ... other stuff. This episode is an argument between Cody and Mike about whether a TIE Fighter pilot is the true hero of the original Star Wars. And whether Star Wars is dumb. Watch out for prequels.
Sex as Understood by Adolescent Boys by Rachel Bloom
It's always reassuring when an attractive woman on the Internet can seductively articulate the inner workings of the adolescent mind. The fantastic Rachel Bloom sings an original song featuring lots of sexy sex and a special guest appearance by Israeli Prime Minister Golda Meir. Also, that boob car should really exist, right?
The Dark Secret Behind Quirky Romantic Comedies by The Katie Willert Experience
A recent addition to the wildly successful Katie Willert Experience series, this video is the definitive send up of the Manic Pixie Dreamgirl phenomenon. When Kyle finally realizes that his cute, quirky girlfriend is actually mentally ill, he checks her into the Annie Hall Memorial State Home for Manic Pixie Dreamgirls, where he is exposed to the dark realities of the disease. There may or may not be a Shins montage. Not for the faint of heart.
Why Being a Henchman in the Zelda Universe Would Suck by Those Aren't Muskets
If you're like us (and we know that you are, we have cybermetrics), you've spent a lot of time wondering how all the unlocked treasure chests that litter Hyrule's landscape actually got there. Well, great news! This year, Cracked and Those Aren't Muskets launched 8-Bits, a new series poking fun at the crazy logic of video game universes and answering all those nit-picky questions that our game-addled brains can't ignore. This episode, shot nearly two years ago, is the second installment. Watch for more next year!
'Game of Thrones': The Board Game by Cracked Staff
The definitive board game for the complex fantasy-based political thriller Game of Thrones. It's as fun as it is comprehensive and tedious. Oh, and it actually exists. We're still trying to finish our first round. We'll let you know how it goes.
The 3 Worst Pieces of Advice on the Internet by Does Not Compute
S.W.A.I.M-bot and Clippy team up again to warn you about the perils of taking advice from the Internet. They're aware of the irony. Part of the ongoing series Does Not Compute, this episode exposes broadsword vendors and vanilla sexperts alike. By the end, you won't be sure whom to trust. Believe us.
The Invention of Last Names: Stuff That Must Have Happened by Cracked Staff
The whole Cracked cast turned out for this Monty Python-inspired meditation on the origin of surnames. If you enjoy illiterate English peasants, stone amphitheaters, cuckoldry, or dirt, then you should continue watching this sketch. And if you look closely, you might notice some of our friends from 5 Second Films in the background.
Fun Fact: This sketch was shot at an empty summer camp in Idyllwild, California.
F#@K Batman: Why Gotham Would Hate the Caped Crusader by Cracked Staff
This original rap by Michael Swaim exposes the destructive implications of Batman for Gotham City. Featuring the artwork of Winston Rowntree, some sick beats, and a halfway decent understanding of city planning, this video is both love letter and railing condemnation. Because the Batman is as much menace as he is messiah.
The Awful Spider-Man Movie James Cameron Almost Made by Obsessive Pop Culture Disorder
The pilot episode of Obsessive Pop Culture Disorder deconstructs a terrible and little-known Spider-Man screenplay written by James Cameron in the early '90s. This episode perfectly captures the snarky and painfully knowledgeable analysis of the series, and manages to both ruin James Cameron forever and illustrate one of Dan O'Brien's life mantras: If I can't be happy, then neither should you.
If Nature Documentaries Didn't Let Science Get in the Way by Cracked Staff
Professor Scott Bug educates and delights Cracked viewers with his musings on the sun, the Earth, and the bits and stuff that cover them both. Shot around beautiful tree stumps, rocks, and a creek, Marvels of the Science completely captured the wonder and vast complexity of our universe. So much so that we'll probably make more of them.
The Problem With Using Time Travel as a Murder Weapon by Cracked Staff
Conceived, shot, and edited in less than two weeks, this scathing satire of the movie Looper (based solely on the trailer for the movie Looper) was as ill-informed and presumptuous as it was badass. Predicting obvious plot problems that turned out to be mostly right, the sketch was later tweeted by such directors as the guy who directed Looper.
The Biggest Problem With High School (According to Movies) by Sketch Competition/Natural Disastronauts
People often say that high school is a time of self-discovery. But Cracked knows that what they really mean is that all high schoolers are actually adults wearing elaborate disguises in a misguided attempt to solve their life problems. This sketch was commissioned as part of our ongoing Sketch Competition, where you write the sketch and we make it. Look for more in the near future.
Why Supervillains Always Keep the Good Guy Alive by Cracked Staff
Notorious supervillain Dr. Malice and his evil henchman Cody Johnston from Cracked have managed to do what no other villain has ever done. They've killed William Blonde. The problem is, they never expected him to actually die. Like forever. It's kind of a bummer. And it really messes up the laser.
Stuff That Must Have Happened: The First Marriage by Cracked Staff
When a Neanderthal couple puzzles over the recent birth of a "belly gnome," they unwittingly stumble onto a game-changing truth. After they have sex for a while. Also, Cracked would like to reassure you that very few belly gnomes were harmed in the making of this film.