Christmas is a holiday for celebrating community, families, and Lexus dealers, but what about the people who don't fit nicely into society? What about all the people who stay socked away in cellars, who dread human contact, who are so emotionally broken that they spend the holiday alone, like some kind of ... well, like Santa Claus, actually? Do they even celebrate Christmas?
The answer is a resounding yes, and the following Christmas decorations are a testament to that fact. Even the psychopaths and the serial killers apparently make time between pulling the legs off insects and fashioning skin suits to celebrate the holidays. Here's the proof ...
Naked Deformed Santa Claus
"Oh good, children, you're here! Come, help me build this snowman. Hold on a tick, you know the rules. You'll need to strip naked first. Like me! Quickly now, the sun is going down. When we're finished, we can all go inside for some warm milk from one of my five nipples. You're all doing very w- Oh, what's this? Mistletoe? Uh-oh, what's it doing here, right here over my head? C'mon, children, you know the rules. YOU KNOW THE GODDAMN RULES. Ho ho ho! You're not going to tell your parents about me, are you?"
Here's a little tip we'd like to pass on to the good people who make Christmas decorations: You're free to interpret Santa Claus any way you like, but the minute you give his eyes their own voltage, you're going to lose a lot of people. And if you decide to make those eyes protrude like an insect's from his face while illuminated, you're no longer building a festive trinket -- now you're building a nightmare. Oh, he sees you when you're sleeping, all right.