First of all, kudos to the guy in that picture for handling that thing without gloves.
This thing is called a geoduck, pronounced "gooey-duck" because that makes no sense. It's a kind of clam whose body is too big for its shell, and on top of being the most phallic thing in the ocean, it lives for an incredibly long time (up to 140 or so years) and can grow to be disturbingly big.
We can't vouch for the authenticity of this old-timey photograph, but we will note that it's from an era long before Photoshop.
Oh, and did we mention that this thing is considered a delicacy? At least that's what we have to assume people are doing with them.
Every man has had at least one discouraging moment like this.
Because it's a pricey delicacy, farming them makes for quite a lucrative business. And if you haven't eaten in the last 48 hours, you can safely watch Mike Rowe wade around in a sea of floating dicks on Dirty Jobs. If you're a male, have fun trying to cut into one of these things on your plate without involuntarily cringing.
Chris Rio likes to write music, tweet and check email at email@example.com.
For more reasons to fear and loathe Mother Nature, check out 5 Bizarre Ways the Weather Can Kill You Without Warning and 8 Terrifying Skeletons of Adorable Animals.
If you're pressed for time and just looking for a quick fix, then check out The 5 Most Disturbing Things Ever Done With Taxidermy.
And stop by LinkSTORM to cleanse your mind of nature's nightmares.
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