Here's the link to the signup thread again. Just read it, and reply.
And if you reply, you are in (it takes a few days, but no one is rejected). Within a few days you can be writing articles that will be read by up to 3 million goddamned people, on one of the most popular comedy websites on planet Earth. Our contributors have gone on to get book deals, full-time writing jobs and impossible amounts of sex. The list of requirements can be found below, in that completely blank space at the end of the page, because that list does not exist.
Zombie? Unusually dextrous cat? The literal devil? That's fine with us.
"Yeah, but do you actually publish any of the random junk you get in? Everything is done by staff writers, right, and you just occasionally grab something off the contributor pile?" No, it's the exact opposite of that. Our entire comedy empire was built on people just like you, people with no previous publishing experience who were simply funny, clever and creative. Maybe you have a blog already, maybe you just make your friends laugh around the water cooler, or maybe you're the funny guy on a message board. Maybe you're considered one of the great novelists of your era. Doesn't matter, you all start off on equal footing with us. We want you all, the door is wide open. Once you're in, we'll show you how to do everything -- we have an editorial staff who will work with you directly. You risk nothing.