Because there's such an insane demand for merchandise of that adorable angry amorphous robot with the all-seeing eye. Kids just can't get enough of him; he's like Dora the Explorer ... if she were furious, a robot and always watching you.
Berlin Wall 2: Wall Harder
The organizers of the London 2012 Olympics have surrounded the stadium with a wall, which is, yeah, probably not entirely in the spirit of nations crossing borders to come together as one world community. But it's just a stupid wall, right?
Except that it's 11 miles long.
Oh, also it's electrified; touch it and you will get a 5,000-volt shock.
And it's a uniform six meters in height across its entire length, more than two meters taller than that puny one in Berlin.
Some sections have the equivalent of a slutty see-through shirt, something the Russians were always too cheap to buy.
And it's going to be patrolled by those 7,500 Royal Marines, unmanned drones, 55 dog teams, 900 day/night surveillance cameras and 1,000 armed U.S. diplomatic and FBI agents on special assignment.
Which probably doesn't seem like that big of a deal to you, until you remember that these Olympics are not being held in an empty field 200 miles from society. They're right smack in the middle of one of the largest, most populated cities on Earth. Which means that the giant, imposing, electrified and locked down Barrier of Death that comprises one of the most militarized borders in history, rivaling even the DMZ and the infamous Berlin Wall ...
... runs right through your quaint little jogging path.
For more of Cracked's Olympic coverage, check out 20 Ideas For Making the Olympics Kick Way More Ass and 6 Insane Sports That Could Be in the Next Olympics.
If you're pressed for time and just looking for a quick fix, then check out LeBron vs. Jordan: A Non-Basketball Study .
And stop by LinkSTORM to get all your coverage of Olympic noodling.
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