He was celebrated throughout France for his heroic story of survival among the savages of Australia, but in reality he never wanted to leave, even insisting that he was kidnapped by the boat that "rescued" him and forced away from his true people. And his options for occupations back in France were less than spectacular -- a traveling show wanted to hire him as an Anglo-Australian freak. He opted to run a lighthouse instead, and died while still bitter about being taken from his tribe.
Lucio, Salvador and Jesus Master the Pacific
With countless sharks, giant squids and 75 percent of the world's volcanoes around its rim, the Pacific Ocean is like Mother Nature's weapons stockpile. So when someone accidentally wanders into the middle of that arsenal, it's usually a safe bet that they won't drift back out as anything but a partially eaten corpse. But in October of 2005, three Mexican fishermen floated across the entire Pacific by accident, and came out just fine.
El Periodico de Mexico
Yup. That would have been our reaction as well.
The trio departed from the Pacific port of San Blas, Mexico, on October 28, 2005 to go shark hunting with two friends in a rickety 28-foot fiberglass boat. After running out of fuel, they got sucked into the North Equatorial Current, and without a radio they realized that the only way to get back was to go forward. Five thousand miles forward, to be exact, without food, water, gas or any playing cards.
With their lives now literally left up to how creatively they could navigate their way across certain death, they MacGyvered some fishing hooks and string using parts from their engine and stitched a sail out of blankets. They lived off of raw fish, seagulls and sea turtles, and because of a stroke of luck, they were rained on nearly every day of the ordeal. Or maybe it wasn't so lucky -- the storms were so bad that they constantly had to bail water from the boat and thought on several occasions that they were just going to sink.
"You know what, Salvador? I'd rather drown than hear you sing 'Don't Stop Believin'' one more goddamn time."
Nevertheless, the trio were able to survive in the heart of the Pacific ... for nine freaking months. That's 270 days at sea. Imagine you take a trip for Christmas and get lost. You think, "Well, we just have to hold on until somebody finds us." Now imagine you stay gone so long that by the time you are rescued, they are putting out decorations for next Christmas. All that time, in a boat with two other guys, getting pelted with rain.
The trio were eventually picked up off the Marshall Islands by a Taiwanese fishing boat. It was a confusing moment for everyone when they tried to explain what had happened, and the crew of the rescuing boat tried to explain exactly how far they had drifted. After the men were flown back home, they immediately went back to their careers as shark fishermen on a tiny boat because, after surviving that, what else is the Pacific going to pull?
"You ain't got shit, Jaws."
To learn more about the epic struggle unfolding right now for control of this planet, Jacopo asks that you pick up a copy of his book "Go @#$% Yourself!" - An Ungentlemanly Disagreement, by Filippo Argenti and check out its topic page right here on Cracked.
For more awesome tales of survival, check out 6 Soldiers Who Survived Shit That Would Kill a Terminator. Or learn about what'll kill you, in 6 Deadly Injuries You Think You'd Survive (Thanks to Movies).
And stop by LinkSTORM to learn how to survive 4chan.
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