"O voi ch'avete gl'intelletti sani,/ Mirate la dottrina che s'asconde/ Sotto 'l velame de li versi strani." - Dante [Translation: This entire topic page is loaded with secret messages and hidden codes designed to blow minds.]
"Go @#$% Yourself!": An Ungentlemanly Disagreement Between the Author Filippo Argenti and the Modern Day Nanny State, Foreword by Corso Donati, Esq.--yes, that is the book's full title--is a political satire modeled after the works of Dante Alighieri, Niccolò Machiavelli and Jonathan Swift.
Jonathan Swift: Essayist, satirist, expert shaver.
So, why does this book exist? Because someone asked Jacopo to write it, which makes the already incredible invention that is Cracked just a little bit more awesome. "Go @#$% Yourself!: An Ungentlemanly Disagreement is all the proof you need that writing for Cracked can not only land you a book deal, but grant you the opportunity to be ranked alongside some of the greatest novelists, satirists and eroticists of the past 100 years.
The Naked Lunch, Lolita, and now "Go @#$% Yourself!"
In short, "Go @#$% Yourself!": An Ungentlemanly Disagreement is more than just a diatribe about the current state of political discord in the United States--which it is. It is more than philosophical pornography with the occasional crack about Uranus and husbands who don't have sex with their wives--which it is. It is more than an exposé of what really caused the economic crisis based on personal interviews--which it is. It is more than a first-hand account of what really goes on inside all-womens' colleges--which it is, albeit briefly...
*cough* It's all true! *cough*
This book is a bar that just about anyone who has ever wanted to be published can realistically set for themselves. As long as your book is better than the one called "Go @#$% Yourself!", believe me, you'll do just fine.
Who is Filippo Argenti?
I'll make this short and sweet: When I was first approached to write this book, I thought it would be an interesting opportunity to exercise a code I had been working on in some form since May 2006. Elements of this code can be found within my two previous publications, Cracked's You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News, and Wordplague's The Four Humors. Neither books are required purchase to enter this contest, but I can assure you they are essential to cracking every single code hidden within "Go @#$% Yourself!".
Note to self: buy both these books.
My publisher at Disruptive Publishing does not think it is possible for anyone to crack the codes I hid within "Go @#$% Yourself!", and he is so sure of this that he has decided to make it interesting...
Thank you, and godspeed.
One of the beauties of "Go @#$% Yourself!": An Ungentlemanly Disagreement is that its unique cover makes it the perfect gift for friends and enemies alike.
"Happy Birthday! P.S. Go @#$% yourself!"
As such, in addition to literati and uniquely choice people who we personally think are awesome, we at Cracked found that "Go @#$% Yourself!" also makes the perfect gift for...
That piece of work in the parking lot.
Bosses that make you come in on a weekend.
That asshole at work who keeps stealing your sandwich.
You will never complain about Secret Santas again.
Your worthless roommate.
Neighbors that let their dogs crap on your yard.
That professor who killed your Master's thesis.
The frog says, "Rrrrrrrrejected!"
Jerks who invite you to their wedding just to spite you.
Terrible lead-ins that ruin your act.
Picketers from the Westboro Baptist Church.
Closeted [and uncloseted] homophobes.
Take that however you wish.
Adults who clearly should not be allowed near children.
Mel Gibson apologists.
And lastly, former Vice President Dick Cheney.