One such person-renting exchange occurs in places called Campus Cafes, where grown men pay to come and hang out with college girls. There's no sex or groping involved -- the men are literally paying money just to talk to girls about whatever.
Hagemashi Tai (which is Japanese for "I want to cheer up") is a friend-renting agency. You can hire one of its actors to act as just about anyone for just about any situation. For example, at a wedding in Saitama, Japan, the groom's manager gave a heartfelt speech about how great a guy he was and how lucky everyone at the company was to have him. The thing is, this "manager" had never set eyes on the groom or anyone else in the wedding before. The groom hired him from the friend agency to the tune of about 20,000 yen. Although we feel that if you're going to pay someone to pretend to be your boss, you might as well have him give a speech about how you Chuck Norrised a bunch of terrorists in the face after they invaded the company picnic last spring.
"Of all the men I've ever seen gut a terrorist with their bare hands, Mark grunted the least."
It doesn't stop with fake employers -- you can rent people to play absolutely any part you want them to, for any occasion you see fit. You can hire a husband to tutor your kids and yell at the neighbors. You can rent yourself a father to walk you down the aisle at your wedding. You can pay someone to go to Disneyland with you. You can even get a wife to make yourself seem nonthreatening, presumably because that makes it way easier to trick girls into getting in your van.
For whatever reason, you can email Danny at email@example.com, follow him on Twitter or check out his new home page!
You should pick up our new book because carrying it around will make you look like a student or a banker or something.
For more things that shouldn't exist, but do, check out 7 Great Products for Telling the World You're a Rich Dick and The 7 Most Useless Skymall Products (Reviewed Accordingly).
And stop by Linkstorm where we offer to write your term papers for you.
And don't forget to follow us on Facebook and Twitter to get sexy, sexy jokes sent straight to your news feed.
Do you have an idea in mind that would make a great article? Then sign up for our writers workshop! Do you possess expert skills in image creation and manipulation? Mediocre? Even rudimentary? Are you frightened by MS Paint and simply have a funny idea? You can create an infograpic and you could be on the front page of Cracked.com tomorrow!