Kristi: Wrong. Janet is grabbing her boobs like a leather clad nun who just got molested by an Abercrombie and Fitch model. Look at her face, she's practically radiating "sexual harassment victim," which is a hard thing to radiate in a studded leather trench coat. She's clutching her gut like she just got kicked in the unborn baby and her hair is shielding her face from the shame of what's been done to her. If Justin Timberlake ever looked rapeyer, I'd probably pay good money to see it.
On the other hands, Miss Jacksonifyou'renasty's face is Buddha calm on the Rolling Stone cover. The hand bra is doing its job - namely, supporting and covering. Way supporting by the looks of that cleavage. True, this particular bra would make her boobs look like ridged knuckle monsters under a T-shirt, but that's not the point. In the battle of flesh bras, double hands from the back wins, HANDS down.
Round One - Basic Bra Division:
Amy Winehouse's Red Bra vs. Rihanna's Green Bra
Kristi: You know how when you're a little kid, and you try to draw flying birds, but it's too hard because of the feathers and the beaks and talons and whatnot? So you just give up and draw these weird little curvy versions of the letter v? Rihanna's bra turned her knockers into a childlike drawing of a flying bird. That bra is working so hard her cleavage looks like the logo for McDonald's.