These ladies spend, literally, over half their lives preparing for this one moment. Before they take the ice, you're almost always treated to a teary eyed back story about how their parents saw something special in them so, for the sake of developing their budding talent, they sold their house, moved 800 miles away to be closer to the best coaches and unloaded the less talented kids onto black market child traffickers. It's a sacrifice, sure, but more than worth it so little Oksana could pursue her dream of winning a gold medal at the Winter Olympics.
And then, with a 1/16th of second miscalculation, Oksana's potentially medal winning triple toe loop turns into an embarrassing fall and slide of shame halfway across the ice, preferably ending with a slamming into the border that separates the audience from the no good f**k up who just made enemies out of her parents.
And just when you come down from the smug high of knowing that, with that much training, YOU certainly would have nailed that jump, you get to see it all over again with the next skater. It's enough to make a man want to frame that Chili's Employee of the Month certificate. It's not much of an accomplishment, but at least your failure didn't take your parents and, by extension, your entire country down with it. Well done, sir. You are truly a champion.
Or You Could Just...
Sit at a casino for six hours. There will be far fewer chicks in figure skating costumes flying through the air, but there will likely be several whores on the premises. And when it comes to sitting back joyfully as hopes and dreams are squashed, no place on Earth has more of that per capita than a casino. Everywhere you turn, someone will be making a shambles of their once productive life. It's awesome. You may never be an Olympic athlete, but you aren't any of these people either. And that makes you a winner.
Adam hosts a podcast called Unpopular Opinion that you should check out right here. You should also be his friend on Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr.
Or see some more from Adam right here on Cracked, with 6 Places You Should Never Twitter From and 5 World Leaders Who Were Accused of Being the Antichrist.
And check it out: Cracked has an app for your iPhone!