10

Rainn Wilson

twitter.com/rainnwilson

Following / Followers

44 / 46,845

Finding out that Rainn Wilson is a lot like Dwight Schrute, only smarter and sometimes (gasp) funnier is like discovering that, not only are dinosaurs still real, but they can also play pretty sick guitar solos. Between honest-to-God laughs, Wilson confirms that, yes, acting in a hit sitcom makes your job suck even more by comparison.

Choice Tweets:

Watching 'Hotel for Dogs' with my wife and son. Kate Winslet plays a Nazi with a lot of books. Still waiting for ONE stupid dog to show up.

Back at THE OFFICE after 6 week hiatus. Had to have a long talk with John K about his favorite game "nipple punch" and its appropriateness,

9

John Hodgman

twitter.com/hodgman

Following / Followers

88 / 36,040

It's a shame most still know Hodgman from those commercials that showed all the ways a PC was inferior to a lanky hipster with a bad haircut (answer: PC takes too many showers?). Stodgy appearance notwithstanding, the man's a funny writer and it comes through in his Twitter.

Choice Tweets:

Desk is clear for the first time since beginning of book tour. Apparently it is made of wood.

OK. Everyone should get their replies in about 5-7 business days. I'm sorry I could not overnight them, but they are fictional, so USPS only

8

Warren Ellis

twitter.com/warrenellis

Following / Followers

108 / 17,601

Blame modern society, but writing graphic novels with cult appeal (Transmetropolitan, Nextwave) doesn't make one as famous as wearing a blonde wig and singing about pogs (or something) or doing whatever the hell a Jonas brother does. Still, if you can get past his constant replies to other Twitterers, Ellis's insights re: writer's block and alcoholism are always a good read. Always succinct, publishing in 140-character bursts only highlights Ellis's sharpness.

7

MC Hammer

Following / Followers

24,076 / 69,934

twitter.com/MCHammer

I was dubious, since celebrities usually wear their low Following / Follower ratio as a mark of pride. ("Pride" may not be the word I want--how do you spell "fragile ego"?) But apparently twitter.com/MCHammer is, forgive me, legit. Hammer loves Twitter so much he flew cross-country for the Shorty Awards, the first ever "Twitter awards ceremony" (your guess is as good as mine.) The posts aren't hilarious, but, beyond novelty value, Hammer's Twitter is the chronicle of a man who's seen bankruptcy, genie pants and everything in between, and isn't afraid to blow the trials he's endured completely out of proportion ...

Choice Tweets:

The reservoir I draw from runs deep and is anchored in the human experience and diverse cultures... to hell and back is an understatement

I caught the "Red-Eye" and now it's time for "Shut-Eye"!!! I had a little breakfast.... wait.. I might mess up my hair ! oh, Le coconut !!!

6

James Gunn

5

Neil Gaiman

twitter.com/neilhimself

Following / Followers

14 / 26,420

Refreshingly, the Sandman and Coraline scribe seems to have no use for the over-engineered, eyeliner-enhanced quirk to which many of his fans are inclined. Although celebrity self-absorption occasionally sneaks through, the Internet could benefit from more of his subdued Brit charm.

Choice Tweets:

In dublin. Just ordered breakfast. Was whisked thru airport by film vip magic and instead of queueing was given tea. All airports shd be so.

Best bit of the evening: being asked who my hair stylist was and having to explain that this is just what it does & not anyone's fault.

4

Britney Spears

3

Demetri Martin

twitter.com/DemetriMartin

Following / Followers

- 2,994 / 3,399

Another dubious ratio for a celeb, but if Rainn Wilson and John Hodgman think it's worth following someone, that's good enough for me. Martin's comedy is built on meticulously crafted one-liners, so it's interesting to see him a little more unedited. It also helps if you read it with the comedian's trademark deadpan delivery echoing in your head.

Choice Tweets:

Last LA thing. Jamba Juice. Dude asks me what "boost" I want. So I asked if they had "superhero."

Why do celebrities name their kids cool stiff like Kal-el and Inspektor Pilot? Cuz I have 864 Katies/Saras following me. They all have cats.

2

Felicia Day

1

Shaquille O'Neal

twitter.com/THE_REAL_SHAQ

Following / Followers

380 / 87,931

Like some of his previous forays into mass media, namely Shazaam and Shaq Fu, THE_REAL_SHAQ blurs the line between unintelligible train wreck and sublime performance art. The posts run high on stream-of-consciousness and low on spell check, and range from short words of wisdom (usually self-attributed) to his signature one-liners (always capped with "lol" 'cause, you know, it's a joke). I could go on, but the man's bio says it best: "VERY QUOTATIOUS, I PERFORM RANDOM ACTS OF SHAQNESS".

Random act of Shaqness

Choice Tweets:

Just leavn lebrons party, i have no voice, can u hear this , ................... C i told u , no voice, lol

Random act of Shaqness #2

Ok i admit it i at performance enhancing frosted flakes 2 yrs ago, lol

Random act of Shaqness #3

If your n a bad place rt now, the best is yet to come Shaquille o'neal

Images courtesy of one man Photoshop powerhouse Randall S. Maynard.

Keep up with Ben on his blog.

Or, find out what we're up to at twitter.com/Cracked.